Starfire
by Torahime97
Summary: I could sense it. They were creeping in the dark corners, thirstin' for blood. They were whispering in my dreams. They wanted me. But the hunt had just begun. (This story contains mostly OC's, shimayu's daughter and others).
1. Young blood

Hello everyone! This story is going to be pretty messed up in the end (if i reach it) so if you won't be satisfied with the plot i guess i can understand you... Well, time to start this fanfiction with the most detastable OC you could ever read about! (If it'll piss you guys off, then it's perfect). Enjoy the reading!

1\. Young blood

The sun.

The mother star, the brightest, of the solar system and the most important source of energy for life on Earth.

About three quarters of the Sun's mass consists of hydrogen; the rest is mostly helium, with much smaller quantities of heavier elements, including oxygen, carbon, neon, and iron.

Why am i telling you this now?

Humpf.

When i was little i was obsessed with my name, _Haru,_ so i used to spend my days looking at that blazing and awfully dazzling circle, floating in the endless sky. I loved the way its rays were burning in my eyes, making me see everything so sparkly; the warmth of the sunlight laying on my white and soft skin. I fell in love with the sunrise. I was the first to get up in the house, because i didn't want to miss the chance of making a wish upon the rising sun.

Pretty childish.

Needless to say, my favorite subject in grade school was science: i just couldn't stop staring at the picture of the shining sphere on my textbook. That's why there is nothing i don't know about the sun.

Even now i'm looking up to that star, from the darkness of my room. I do it every morning, like an old habit.

Blinding as ever. What a pain in the butt!

Closed the tent by one step, with a quick movement, i head to the mirror just to watch closely at my pretty and annoyed face, as always.

What can i see when i look into the mirror?

To my mum i was pure light. She couldn't see anything but a glaring overwhelming light. Why? Well, this is a sad story to tell. Maybe i'll save it for later.

To my dad i was probably a living disgrace. A troublemaker, a spoiled brat. Not that i care though...!

And me?

What do i usually see when i look at myself?

Getting close to the that piece of glass, the only things i could see were a pair of sharp icy eyes, slightly scary in their shape and colour; A lovely smart-mouth surrounded by rosy and soft lips; Long golden hair, ending in red flaming tips. In conclusion, a crimson star-shaped birthmark on my right cheek, just right under the eye. I hated it.

At least i could have been proud of the curves of my body, kindly offered by nature and mainly by my biological mother.

I was fine. Fine enough to be a mean girl. Because i was this!

A mean girl.

Partly chose to be one, partly called like this from the others.

After giving a quick look to the kitty-shaped clock in my room, i started to get ready to go to school.

School...was it even alright to call it like that?

I mean, that was indeed school, but never i attended it like a normal student. After all, the only reason i was going to a normal school was to avoide attending an onmouji-sized one.

I never wanted to be an _onmyouji_ in the first place.

Why?

Because it's stupid.

I prefer leading an ordinary life in an ordinary world, where the only thing i am supposed to fight is boredom. And i'm pretty good against it too!

Pulling out my favorite pair of red stockings from the drawer, i slowly made them slide and cling to the shape of my skinny thighs, getting into my monochrome and ugly uniform, without forgetting to put some make-up on, especially on my birthmark.

With two different coloured lipstick in front of my eyes, i started examining them accurately. The red-blood one or the coral pink one?

After thinking about it for a while, i grinned to myself and made the final choice.

"I'll take it easy for today, i'm not in a good mood..." i said picking up the coral pink one and carefully putting it on my tender lips.

"Time to kick this boring life in the butt!"

I smiled confident to my reflection in the mirror.

It was already very late when i was sneaking downstair on my tiptoes, heading towards the kitchen, in the grip of a sudden hunger. It didn't matter though, since i couldn't care less about running late for school!

My parents wouldn't have cared about that anyway. They were too busy with the family business and other onmyouji affairs.

I was free to do whatever i wanted to do! Without nobody watching me all the time.

"Haru, what are you doing?"

In that moment, i swallowed my own heart.

I was just about to put my hands on an appetising pieace of bread with cherry jam on it, and sinking my voracious teeth in its softness!

Then i turned my face towards the male voice and showed my best annoyed expression.

"Ren...!"

"Ahh, _gomen_ gomen! I didn't want to startle you."

He said putting his hands forth, smiling innocently.

This was Ren. A handsome, well-mannered and gentle guy, just two tears older than me. He was my bodyguard, but i used to see him as the brother i never had.

A bodyguard? Yes.

Actually i am the only daughter of the Amawaka clan. I've been treated as a princess since i can remember, in order to follow my parents path and becoming the new head of the family. But screw it.

Anyway, my parents believed that my safety was an A priority, thinking that people might aim for me, jeopardising my precious life; that's the reason i've been knowing Ren since we were just babies. He has grown up with me in this house.

"I think you shouldn't go to school dressed like that. Your parents will be worried."

He took the plate with the bread and kindly offered it to me, with a warm smile on his face.

I deeply appreciated his act and welcomed it with a tip of sourness.

"Chill. First of all, they're never at home..." biting the piace of bread, i took a small pause.

"...secondly, i couldn't care less." i said while still swalloing the bite.

"I see, but don't start complaining if _chichi_ will scold you again."

"I know, i know..." i did in an annoyed tone of voice.

Before i could say anything else, another boy quietly entered the room. He was Rin.

I usually thought about Rin as the came-out-wrong other brother. Rin was Ren's twin brother; both my bodyguards, but very different from each other.

Allow me to introduce him.

Rin is even worse than me! And i think this sentence explained everything.

He's stubborn, cold, always angry...! His face reminds me of my father's too. Of course this is just his cool facade. Actually, he's just as kind as his twin brother but...he struggles quite a lot at showing his tender side.

Both me and Ren were waiting for Rin to say something, like "good morning!"...no way, huh? Such a _tsundere_!

Rin calmly headed towards his cup of coffee and took a sip of its bitterness, without even looking into our direction. But we were watching him in a freaky way.

When he finally lifted his face and met our gazes, he sucked his teeth in a fed up expression.

"Still acting big, i see. You know, you're no more in kindergarten: play time is over."

What was it supposed to mean?!

"You-"

"C'mon guys, it's too early to start word-dwelling! Let's all have a nice breakfast together." Ren interrupted me with his pacifist invitation. Well done, Ren! I could have killed him with my edgy sarcasm.

Don't get the wrong idea, i like Rin, sometimes we also get along pretty well, but when he sees me dressed too risqué or misbehaving in general, he starts acting meaner. He cares for me, i know.

"Haru, aren't you late for school?" Ren looked at me from the edge of his glasses.

"Kinda. Guess i'll go then."

I took my bag and started walking towards the main hallway. at that time i could sense Rin and Ren's intense glances on my back, impregnated with concern.

Once i reached the _genkan_ and began to taking off my slippers, i heard the sound of someone's steps coming from behind.

"Haru- _sama_ , before you go out i need to inform you about something."

I could've recognized that voice among thousands.

"Yes, Yuzuru?"

Yuzuru was an eldest member of the Amawaka house. She used to know my mother when she was just a teenager like me, and she was like an aunt to me, though, sometimes, she scared me.

"Your father said that he wants to talk with you as soon as possible to discuss an important matter."

"If it was that important, he could have asked me to talk abou it personally. Also, i have to go to school now, i can't."

Yuzuru remained silent for a few seconds.

"I understand, i'll let him know your reply."

As i heard her walking away i sighed in relief for a moment, but deep down, i was very anxious.

Shimon Amawaka, also known among the onmyouji as the Crismon phoenix, Suzaku. He was my father.

We never got along much well...

Every now and then, he wants to "talk" with me about starting the training session for becoming an onmyouji, but this conversation always end up with me screaming at him while he keeps scolding me without listen to what i want to say. It is indeed a very difficult relationship.

I might understand though how he must be feeling.

One of the most powerful onmyouji among the twelve heavenly commanders having a daughter who doesn't want to follow his steps and becoming a talented onyouji or the new head of his clan. He must be feeling ashamed for this when he's in front of his other colleagues.

But i am not his piece of work. I'm not something he can show off to the others just to feel proud of his good work as a father!

That was the reason why i just wanted to lead a normal life. I didn't want to satisfy dad's expectations.

Still, my blood began to boil when i heard from Yuzuru that he wanted to talk with me. I was feeling nervous, but was it really rage?

What if that frustration was something more similiar to happiness or excitement, instead? I didn't know myself.

After all, i haven't seen him in a while now...

Eh?

No way!

There's no way i really felt happy about seeing him again, right now!

Haru, you perfecty know how is going to end this. He's just going to lecture you all over again, about the same boring stuff. Dad will look at me with his harsh glare and his strict poise, as always! He'll never behave like a proper loving father...

...so, i won't behave like a good daughter either.

Suddenly, i felt vulnerable. And i hated myself for that.

 _I don't need him. I don't need a father who's always forcing me to do what he wants for myself_. I thought.

Shit.

Before i could even notice, the floor under my feet started looking so blurry and unclear; a stinging warmth suddenly arose in my eyes and i could feel my eyes quickly getting watery.

"Are you stil here?"

Not now, not Rin.

I rubbed my face in a flash, trying to hide the fact that i was about to cry. If Rin would have noticed that, he would have laughed at me for the rest of my life!

"I'm going!" i rised my voice, almost unconsciously.

As soon as i stuffed my shoes, i marched towards the main door and, once i opened it, i threw myself into the outside world and left my whole fragility behind my back, at home, where it could've rest for a while.

I couldn't stand staying in that house.

It was gloomy and decaying, empty for most of the time. Its cold walls always made me feel like i was held captive in a cage, just like a pretty exotic bird. Surrounded by people who only had exorcism and a strong desire to risk their lives in their mind. I've always felt like fish out of water there.

I was the Amawaka clan's heir, therefore, i've been treated with respect from the minor members of the household since i was born. Some of them also used to adress to me like "the sun princess" when i was younger, but when i once threatened them to make my parents know about their filfhy affairs, they were so scared that they stopped.

I've always been a smart little girl, after all. I couldn't give a damn about my family members but i knew everything about everyone.

I deeply despised people being kind and polite to me just because i was an Amawaka's pure-blood child. I really used to think they loved me as a true family, but once i heard them talking trash about me behind my back, well, my point of view changed. To them, i was just a snooty, tofee-nosed Missy with a surly attitude.

Indeed i was, but nobody ever took an interest in asking me the reason behind that behaviour. Now i can talk about it freely, without any pride.

My parents, again.

I used to be a loving and kind daughter too, when i was a baby, but everything changed that fatal day.

19th December, my birthday.

The main hall had been arranged for the occasion, even thuough only the closest family members had been invited. A fuss wasn't needed.

Around me i could see a bunch of coloured big baloons and other cheerful decorations for kids with a fancy cake on the ancient table. Everything looked so shiny and warm in my innocent eyes, full of joyness and delight!

I was about to unwrap my parents present, but an emergecy call interrupted that happy moment. My dad went aside, in the darkest and most hidden corner of the big room; i followed him with my gaze, waiting for him to come back to the light.

I couldn't hear a thing at that time, but i saw his concerned and agitated expression while he was talking on the phone. He was getting more and more flustered.

My mom suddenly got close to him, just as worried as me.

When the phone call ended and dad hung up, he returned to the party with my mother on his side, and raised his voice into a speacial announcement.

I don't remember what he said at that time, but he was probably talking about an urgent and dangerous mission which came up. I can say that it was a very risky one because everybody started freaking out when they heard the upcoming news.

 _How are we going to fight this?!_

 _We'll need reinforcements! We can't do it alone!_

 _This is a suicide mission!_

The happy-go-lucky mood in the room shattered at the sound of their panicked voices. I could sense they're hearts trembling in fear...

"Indeed, this is going to be a dangerous mission, but we are the only ones left. If we don't exorcise that impurity quickly, things will get even worse for the population! Get ready."

Ahh, dad's voice was so bossy and lound at that time, but instead of scaring, it calmed me. Also the other family members put themselves back together and replied with a loudly "Yes, sir!"

The room began to clear out rapidly, as all the present onmyouji's went to prepare themselves for a another battle. The only people left inside were mum and dad.

"Take me with you." my mother begged him.

"Impossible. You can't fight in your condition and you have to look after Haru." his firmness was impassable as he said that.

Mom found herself fighting between her responsabilities as a mother and her duties as the head of the family. Her face visually upset with trembling lips and her turquoise eyes wide open; then, i saw a glimps of resolution sparkling in her expression.

"I am the head of the Amawaka clan, you can't cut me out of this just because of my current situation. You need me, now."

Dad's face suddenly look very concerned while he was staring into those determinate eyes. Then he came close to me, kneeling to the ground.

"Haru, we're going to come back soon, i promise. Be a good girl while we're out." he said kissing my forehead.

Now that i think about it, his gaze was looking quite sad, back then. He didn't want to leave me.

Before i could even express my feelings about it, he casted a barrier-spell around the whole household, locking me in the inside, for safety, and he left with my mother.

And by then, the big hall was already filled with emptyness.

I'd been left there, alone, still surrounded by those cheerfull ornaments and with the consumed smoking birthday candles. A shiver spreaded through my body, making me feel cold.

That was the first time i've ever met loneliness in my life. In my mind, she was a lady characterizide by a deafining silence and an apathic aura. It was scary.

I was there, sitting on the ground, with my whole fragility and smallness, waiting for time to start flowing again; colours began to fade and i grew afraid of saying something out loud. I felt like diving into cold water.

I quickly became aware of the fact that i had been left alone in a very big mansion, so i freezed in fear. In my head, sad questions started rising up:

 _Did they abandoned me?_

 _Will they really come back for me?_

 _What if i'll be alone forever?_

Those nothingness and solitude already started eating me out, feeding on my restlessness and fear. I was powerless against them! For all that time i've never knew how to handle all of this, that's why i was panicking.

After looking around, searching for something i didn't know myself, i finally lowered my head and looked at the half-unwrapped gift between my tiny legs.

At first i was tempted to open it without waiting for my parents, but then i remembered my father's promise.

So i started waiting, alone, while darkeness was slowly making its way throughout the house. The dusk.

I waited for hours, sitting in the same spot, without moving an inch and listening to the scary sounds of those old wooden walls. But, in the end, i couldn't resist any longer. I desperately needed to find something to cling on! So i discarded the present. Piece of paper after pieace of paper i patiently removed the covering, and what i found beneath of it was a hand-stitched doll.

The body was well made, but her facial expression was kinda creepy.

It didn't really matter, in the end! I was overjoyed from the bottom of my heart. I knew my parents made it with love, so i hugged her tight and, before i could notice, i fell asleep while crying.

When i woke up again, it was already morning. There isn't much important stuff to remember from here on.

In the end my father didn't keep his promise to come back soon and i only saw him again four days later in a hospital. I was so enraged that i tossed away the doll my parents give me for my birthday and made a promise to myself instead.

 _From now on, i will never trust mum and dad anymore! I won't be a good girl and i'll never become an onmyouji!_

And from that day, i started misbehaving and causing trouble to people; mainly because i wanted to upset my parents but also because i wanted attention.

Putting out my teleportation talisman, i started reciting the only enchantment i've ever allow myself to and opened the gate linked to Tokyo, where my school was, and calmly crossed it still lost in my old memories.

Ahh, _mendoukusai_...!

Author's notes:

 **Haru** : (陽) means "sun" or "sunlight" in japanese.

 **Gomen** : it means "sorry" in japanese.

 **Chichi:** (父) the kanji stands for "father" literally. Ren usually referes to Haru's parents calling them with their traditional names.

 **Tsundere:** is a Japanese term for a character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing a warmer side over time.

 **Genkan:** (玄関) are traditional Japanese entryway areas for a house, apartment, or building—something of a combination of a porch and a doormat. The primary function of genkan is for the removal of shoes before entering the main part of the house or building.

 **-sama** : All members of the Amawaka clan adress to Haru by using the honorific title "sama", since she's supposed to become the new head of the family.

 **Mendoukusai:** it means kinda "what a pain!" in japanese.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I know this first chapter was basically unreadable! I'm not so good with english and i struggle a lot at writing difficult sentences ehehe...

In the next chapter i promise i will explain more things about the twins bodyguards (like, their look and lifestyle) and maybe also about Shimon and Mayura, that i didn't mention too much here. Anyway stay tuned!


	2. A lonely goldfinch's love song

Hello people, and welcome again to the second chapter of my fanfiction! The story will be kinda fast paced from here, so i'm expecting to finish it quickly. I apologize for my not-so-perfect english, anyway; i'm still a beginner with english writing. Told this, have a nice reading!

2\. A lonely goldfinch's lovesong

Rin and Ren had been my personal bodyguards since i was little. I still remember the day when i first met them.

It was an ordinary evening like the others; i was happily playing the housekeeper with my grandmother, while mum was preparing dinner for that night.

Suddenly i heard the main door of the house opening and, knowing that it was probably dad coming back from work, i leaned over the door.

That was when, before my eyes, i could see the image of my father, covered in dust and wounds, who was helding two little boys under each of his arms, both badly injured, taking shape and inprint itself in my mind.

I immediately started crying and screaming. Mum and granny came running right away, frightened from my alarmed voice.

Needless to say, a fuss was created. All the members of the family rushed to main hall, asking what was the meaning of that and panicking like crazy. On my side, i couldn't understand a thing: i was scared too.

The only thing i can clearly recall from that day was the reassuring and sweet voice of my mother, who was trying to pacify me.

"Don't worry, Haru. Dad is fine, and also the kids will be." she said to me, smiling innocently, while stroking my hair.

By that time, i was already very mad with my parents for the birthday accident, but deep down i still loved them, that's why seeing my dad in those conditions had been quite the shock.

That night i couldn't eat or sleep at all. I was still shaking in fear! I desperately wanted to see my dad and the two unknown kids, but i wasn't even allowed to leave the private apartment where me and my family were living.

I felt useless.

I felt weak.

Of course, there weren't many things a kid of my age could've done for helping them, but i still felt obligated to do something or at least acting tough. In the end i climbed down my bed and went in the living room, then i sitted on the big sofa, with a blanket wrapping and warming me up and i waited there all night, waiting for some news, pointlessly trying to fight the heavy sleep urge as a result of all that crying and freaking out.

In a way or another, i managed to stay awake. I still remember the red light of the breaking dawn, slightly colouring and enlighting the cold room. I was deeply amazed by that sublime picture.

As my mother told me, dad was fine. He had fully recovered from his injuries, but the kids remained in the medical room about three days longer.

With my tiny back leaned against my parents room door, i could hear them talking about the found children.

"They were in Magano, laying on the ground. It seemed like a kegare attacked them. I just couldn't leave them there!"

"You did the right thing taking them here, darling."

I couldn't see anything, apart from the dark floor behind my feet, but i imagined my mom caressing dad's shoulder and comforting his restless heart.

"Just...why they were there in the first place?"

"It doesn''t seem like Rokuro's case, right?"

Rokuro Enmadou was a close friend of my family, i used to play with him a lot! He was cheerful and strong. Maybe i could have had a little crush on him at that time, but till that moment, i never knew he was found in Magano as well.

"No. it's quite different..."

"What should we do now?"

Yes, what should we have done back then? The kids didn't have anyone, from what i could understand. They were all alone.

"I don't know."

Stretching out my ears, i patienly waited for someone to speak again, throwing an eye into the room, from a little gap of the door. Silence began to fill the room.

"What about...taking them in?" mum suggested.

My father lifted his face and slowly turned to face her.

"What do you mean?"

After that bold suggestion my curiosity started to increase. Mum laughed a bit.

"I know this might sound crazy or too hasty, but they have no parents, and their family didn't come for them. So i was thinking that we could welcome them into our family."

Dad opened wide his eyes in surprise, parting his lips with astonishment then i looked into the void of the room, probably thinking about it.

"You don't have to answer me right away, you can take your time to properly reasoning on this idea."

"No. i got it. I think...it's not a bad one."

This time, the stunned one was my mother.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Dad suddenly got up and walked towards the window. I retired and slightly hid myself behind the door, escaping the light of the room.

"In any case, i was thinking about hiring someone to look after Haru when we're not home."

"You mean, a babysitter?"

Dad slightly laughed.

"No, more like a guardian. I need someone who can protect her. It doesn't matter if they are just children like her, they could keep an eye on her and also start training to get stronger."

"So, you want to make them Haru's bodyguards?"

His crimson head nodded in response. He began looking out of the window, staring at the bright moon in the night sky. Mom was still pondering about his suggestion.

On my side, i was a bit shoked. They really wanted to adopt other children?! I wasn't enough to them? I felt like burst into the room and start yelling at them; i didn't need anyone to look after me! I could have handle myself just fine! But i guessed to them, i was still a delicate and defenseless creature.

Scratching on the wooden door, i started biting my lip in frustration.

"I see. I think you're right. Also, Haru might be feeling less lonely with other kids around her!"

 _No! It's not true! I'm fine on my own!_

"Yes, then is decided. Let's introduce them to the whole family, tomorrow."

Enough.

After hearing my father's intention, i walked away from the half-closed door in resentment. I couldn't believe it!

Parading in the crowded streets of Tokyo, while listening to my favorite song through the earphones, i felt like drifting in the melancholy of those old dusty memories od mine.

Why was i even remembering them now?

 _Ahh, my mood is totally ruined now,_ i thought, anooyingly revolving my eyes.

My only thought at that time should have been preparing myself to go to school and fight against any possible lecture from the teacher. Such a pain! But i was expecting it since i skipped school for the tenth time this month.

Talking about school, a started wondering how things were going for Rin and Ren. They used to attend an onmoyji designed high school, after all! My bodyguards had to be strongest and most diligent exorcists out there.

The only reason they didn't follow me in my ordinary school was mainly this one.

I completely refused to attend an high school for onmyouji! It went against my personal policy. I didn't even care if my parents didn't agree with me; as i already said a thousand times, i'm going to live my life the way that i want to! Rin and Ren have the right to go for their own way too.

I'm not a kid anymore. I never felt like one.

The twins usually used to tag along with me wherever i went, untill, at one point, i decided that i didn't want to feel like not having my personal space and time, so i talked to them and explicitly said,

 _Guys, i love you, i swear, but i'd like to have a life too!_

They didn't make a stand for too much. I'm a stubborn and tough girl, after all.

Love.

Was that really love what made us so close?

At first i didn't get along with Ren and Rin at all. I despised them from the bottom of my heart.

To my eyes, they were just a pair of strangers; intruders that weren't needed or welcomed into the houshold, at least from me.

The first time they were introduced by my parents i was black from rage.

"Everybody, me and my wife are very glad to welcome these two children as new members of the Amawaka clan. Even though they're not blood-related to the family, we'd like you to accept and treat them with kindness."

The main hall was filled with clan members, even the minor and farest ones, who were surprisingly hyped for the entry in the family of the two twins. Except me, who i was rumbling in discomfiture.

Each of them, had two big amber-like eyes gathered in a discomfortable expression, snow white skin without no impurities and light coral-pink hair, a bit messy but silky-looking. Indeed, they were cute.

By that time, i think i was 5 years-old. Later i came to know that they were just two years older than me. They were both staring in confusion at the big crowd in the room, looking frightened as well and visibly stunned.

One of them, grabbed my mum's long skirt, searching for someone to reassuring himself. Needless to say, i growled in jealousy.

"Oh, c'mon Ren, there's nothing to be scared of." she told him, while patting his head.

Even though i was an impulsive and short-tempered child, i'd been learned what self-restrain meant, therefore i decided i couldn't fly off the handle yet and kept on waiting.

"Say your name to everyone, i bet they're all curious to know you!"

In that moment i could clearly see their different personalities.

The child who was named "Ren" didn't move a single inch, instead, his legs were trembling, then he burried his face into my mother's dress.

The other one, suddenly held his hands and forced him in making a step forward, parting his body from my mother's.

"M-my name is Rin! Please be gentle with us!"

His voice was loud and clear, trying to act fearless even when he was about to wet himself.

Everyone's faces started sparkling in delight.

 _Oh my, so cute!..._

 _He kinda looks like Shimon-sama!_

 _They will grow into handsome young men, one day._

 _I hope they'll become Haru-sama's friends!_

The hall was suddenly refilled with comments and fervour for the brief introduction of the stranger no. 1. Now everybody was waiting for the other twin to finally speak up.

Silence.

People was staring at the show with their stretched necks, looking forward to the little boy's introducing.

" _Hora Onii-chan,_ say your name!" Rin encouraged his twin brother.

Ren was indeed a shy boy, but this is what made him look cute into everyone's eyes.

"My name...is Ren. Nice to m-meet you."

Again, people started making a fuss over it. Saying how they were both looking so lovely and well-behaved.

Already fed up with the whole situation, i walked away from the room, marching with my clenched fists and a grampy expression painted on my face. Dad quickly noticed that and started calling for me, but i couldn't care less about it. I was too angry to listen.

The following day i found myself into bright greenness of the garden, surrounded by thousand different types of plants and flowers. Gardenias, Orchid, Lavander...i knew the name of each of them; in particular i used to know everything about my father's bonsai.

At the center of the green pieace of ground, there was a big, crystalline pond where i had fun gazing at the flash Koi carps, swimming in a dance of vivid colours.

Right above the pond, a big and old cherry blossom tree was towering over a good part of the colourful and perfumed garden.

It was beautiful.

In my eyes, the petals shiny-pink shades were sparkling at the blowing of the spring breeze; the robust and reddish branches gently waving under the sun's rays, and the sweet fragrance coming from the already mature blossoms. The whole garden was dominated by this marvelous picture, perfect and charming in every single detail.

At that time, i spent my younger days gazing at it without never unstick my eyes from that view. I felt like hypnotized by the shades, the brightness and shape of his long branches.

I always thought at that tree like the prettiest thing about the whole mansion, that's why i used to worship it like it was the embodiment of a _Kami_ of grace and beauty, bringing offers and praying under the simple elegance of those cherry blossoms, of growing up into a fine lady one day.

My parents used to laughed at me with innocence those days. Well, they were the one who indoctrinated me with fairytales and myths of the Shinto's culture, so they should have felt responsible for my strange behaviour.

What they didn't know about me, was my passion for singing.

I used to be very careful about it, because i didn't want anybody to find out and then force me to sing in front of the other family members.

So i sang in front of the big tree's majesty, wishing for my prayers to be listened, and i keept on arranging harmonies untill the last remaining musical note in my throat finally went out.

Singing, to me, was like going to another world, or better, it was like re-colouring the actual world with different and more glowing tonalities, making it the way i wanted it to be like. Happiness and serenity were spurting from every little symphony, every little word, making me forget about the grayness and loneliness of the real world.

That garden was my stage and i was the star of it.

Nobody couldn't possibly have broken the magic and the harmony between me and my piece of dream.

Or at least, this is what i used to think...

"Ah! You sing very well!"

My heart jumped inside my tiny chest. I slowly turned my face to the entrance of the garden and saw one of the little twins standing there, amazed with his big sparkling eyes of amber.

I freezed in embarrassment.

"Eh? Oh, please go on! I want to hear more of your singing!" he said with his slightly rosy cheeks.

Now that i was looking closely, wasn't he the coward kid who was clingling to mum's skirt?

Suddenly my stunned gaze turned into a fulminant one. That brat!

He quickly noticed my intimidating expression and started getting nervous.

"I-i'm sorry, i didn't want to disturb you!"

He put his hands forth for clearing himself. I think i saw his legs shaking, at that time.

"But you did it anyway!" i yelled at him. It wasn't my intention to be kind with one of them. Plus, he cought me in a holy and precious timing, totally destroying the mood which i created with my own strenght. He deserved to be scolded!

"I'm so-sorry..."

Oh no. He was looking really down, like he was actually feeling guilty for it; keeping his big round eyes clinged to the ground, torturing his hands in anxiety, i imagined him on the verge of crying.

In fact, at some point, i started hearing him sobbing from a distance.

What was wrong with him?! We looked even older than me! Such a crybaby.

I suddenly felt awkward as i was watching him, wipping away his tear. What a pain! I didn't know what to do. Keep on being mean to him, or forgiving him?

Tangled up in self-doubt, i could saw the little boy slowly walking towards a specific spot of the garden. He stopped in front of the chrysanthemums's shrubbery and picked up one of the flowers.

Shame!Sin! How could you touch them without permission?!

"What are you doing, are you crazy?!" i screamed rushing to him. "These flowers are the Amawaka's family holy jewels! Who do you think you are to-"

In a few seconds, the little boy stretched his tiny arm towards me, with the chrysanthemum's blossom he just collected, and offered to me, still facing the ground in guiltiness.

"Eh?..."

I stopped and stared. He took a deep breath, still trembling.

"I'm sorry i-if i interrupted you while s-singing..." his words were disrupted by the hiccups from before, but he still wanted to apologize. "...i just wanted to...hear you again."

My face turned serious.

" Would you accept-"

"No."

A dried and direct "No".

Needless to say, the boy looked at me with a deeply shocked expression, with his trembling hand about to make the flower fall.

Silence began to kindly land on the garden. A brutal and too loud silence.

Seeing no reaction from the kid stadining in front of me, i explained myself better.

"I won't accept neither the flower or your apologisies."

He let his arm fall at his side, still faintly holding the chrysanthemum in his cluched hand, throwing his eyes to ground, again, in disappointment.

I closed my eyes and added " Therefore, you're going to be punished in order to purify your sin!" i said with a loud voice, pointing my finger against him.

He watched me in a stunning expression.

"Eh...Ehh?"

"Yes, you heard me here. Prepare yourself!" i said grinning with pleasure.

Suddenly we heard a rumor from a near bush.

"Sounds funny! Can i play along with you?"

I nearly shouted at the sudden appearance of the other twin, who was hiding among the plants.

Already and totally upset for their unforgivable intrusion into my holy space, i took a deep breath in my lungs and screamed.

" _Moouu_! What a pain!"

After that, i made them begg me for my forgivenness at least a hundred times, making them bow down to the ground. Then i sang along with them to the cherry blossom tree, asking at the "kami" to purify their sins. I basically tricked them into doing a lot of embarrassing things in order to become pure again, but actually i was just teasing them.

So in the following days of our time together, i also forced them to clean the floors and bringing me food whenever i wanted to. I laughed my heart off those days!

" _Ojou-sama_ , when will the punishment finish?" Ren asked.

From the height of my nobilty i answered them while watching them cleaning the garden's flowerbeds.

"Humpf, there is no end to the punishment!"

They both looked me with a stunning and dusty face.

"What do you mean _, 'jou-chan_?"

"I mean, you two are my bodyguards from now on, basically my slaves, my dogs. You have to do whatever i say, without complaining! This is what the contract says!"

"A-actually, your parents told us to protect you. They didn't say anything about all this..."

Ren said in her usual trembling voice.

"Listen to me, what my parents said or didn't said it doesn't matter! I never listen to them anyway, and you two should do the same. Just be my dogs for the rest of your lives, following my orders!" i pointed my magical wand to them, while saying that.

"But ojou-sama..."

"What's wih this ojou-sama anyway?!"

Rin lifted his head, rubbing his small finger under the nose and making it even more dirtier with ground than before. "Ah, your parents told us to call yo-"

"Enough with mum and dad!" i yelled "I said, you just have to listen to me!"

"Then, how should we call you ojou- aaahh!" Ren scared himself.

I gave my back to them, turning around, and making a short pause in the middle of the discussion.

"...Haru."

"Haru? like the sun?" asked Rin.

"Woah, such a cool and cute name!" Ren answered.

"Yeah, right?"

The boys started discussing about my name, filling me with compliments which profoundly embarrassed me. I was glad they were thinking those things about my name, but i couldn't refrain myself from bursting in awkwardness.

"St-stop talking about my name, now! You still have a lot of work to do!" i yelled at them, feeling my cheeks burning.

In the time, i'v grown to like them little by little. They made me laugh and smile from the bottom of my heart and i loved the way they kept me company. I thought i've forgotten loneliness for a while, thanks to them!

They quickly became my two older brothers, even though we weren't blood-related; always by my side, my loyal games companions.

I was very scared to lose them when i heard they needed to start the training session for becoming onmyouji's. I almost lost faith in them at that time...

"Haru, come out of there!"

"I don't want to!"

I was eight years-old when i just heard from my father that Ren and Rin were required to become quilified exorcists in no time, for my own sake. So i locked myself in the storage as sign of protesting.

I thought they were going to leave me behind, just as mom and dad did when i was younger. All to throw themselves into a suicidal mission! It was so ridiculous!

I didn't want my precious brothers to abandon me, slowly walking away from my life, again. Only to do what? Following my parents will, even when i've always told them to not listen to them.

"I know you're quite upset now, but let us talk to you!"

"No, go away!"

I was angry and sad, wrapping my arms around my knees while sitting on the dusty floor of the warehouse, with my back against the door, desperetely trying to choke my sobbings. I didn't want to talk to them and hearing their pitiful excuses! I was hurted enough.

As i shifted my eyes next to me, i saw a white daisy laying on the floor. Ren and Rin made it slide in a small hole of the door and i perfecly knew what it meant, since i've always studied the flowers language.

Loyalty and love, purity, affection, patience.

They already knew what my weaknesses were. I suddenly recalled my first time meeting with them and, moved by it, i picked up the little flower and tangled it in my hair.

Opening the door, i really hoped from the bottom of my heart they woulnd't have noticed my eyes, red and still watery from all the crying, but after seeing their concerned expressions i could tell they did.

Ren smiled at me with sweetness in his eyes and put a hand on my head, patting me. Rin, on the other part, pinched my cheek in a playful way making me rumble.

"Give me a break!" i told him.

He laughed in amusement "No way, princess!".

 _Stop calling me like that..._ i thought while looking away.

"May we come in?"

Ren was kind and polite as always. He was growing up well from the crybaby he used to be in the past.

I nodded and agreed, letting them entering in the dark and dirty stockroom. All three of us, we sitted on the old chest of drawers and started talking about the main topic. I was still looking at the ground, for the first time, showing them my fragiity.

"I know what you're thinking, Haru. You probably think we're going to forget about you and stop being at your side. Isn't it?"

Biting my lip and frowning my eyebrows. i stood still with my clenched fists, totally hurted in my pride. Ren was right, he completely hit the target.

I didn't answer, but everybody knows that who stays quite usually agrees.

"This is not gonna happen! We'll be training to become strong enough to protect you!"

"Exactly as _Nii-san_ said, you should be feeling glad about it! We're gonna be like your knights on white horses an-"

" _Uzakenaide_..." i murmured from my shaded face.

Silence arose. Suddenly Ren hugged me.

"Haru, we love you, we don't want anythng bad to happen to you. No matter how much different our ways might become, we will always be loyal and caring to you. You are our little sister!Please, trust us."

I remember i started crying like a baby after hearing Ren's words. Rin came along as well, hugging me together with his brother and we stayed like that untill i stopped crying. It had passed so much time since i actually accepted someone's body warmth...

It felt good.

Even now i get mad at them when they put their onmyouji's stuff before me, but in my heart, i know they still care for me, that we're bounded by a speacial feeling of brotherhood and friendship which will never be destroyed by anything.

They are now strong exorcists of the Amawaka's household, and i'm just the spoiled little princess of that big castle. It's okay to me, though!

I was fine by just having those two around me.

Author's note:

 **Mouu!** : it's japanese exclamation which stands for "Uff!"

 **Ojou-sama/'jou-chan** : both mean "milady" or "miss"

 **Uzakenaide** : it means "don't joke with me" or something, in japanese.

 **Nii-san** : another way of calling "brother"

OH MY GOD! I finally finished this endless chapter! Yes, Haru is quite the tsundere, here! I could say she's even more tsundere than her father. *giggles*

I probably missed something in the twins story, but don't worry, when i'll remember it i'll find a way to put it inside the next chapter ;)! I hope you liked this "little" overview of the two bodyguards brothers! Stay tuned for updates!

"


	3. The shadows' ballade, part I

Hello dear readers! Here we go again with another chapter of "Starfire"! I hope you liked the previous chapter, and if you didn't, well, the best part has still to come.

I'm meeting some difficulties with writing in another language which isn't my native one, but i hope you'll forgive me for any eventual mistake. Now, have a nice reading!

3\. The shadows' ballade, part I

As i was walking on a common sidewalk of Tokyo, i could sense everyone's eyes on me.

The usual.

The cheerful clicking of my heels distinctly echoed through the noisy streets of the big city,drawing the attention of every single citizen in the area.

My flashing-red stockings used to capture the eye of the other in no time, therefore, i could be easily spotted everywhere; also the high-pitched tinkle of my

circular-shaped earrings was a good decoy to catch people's gazes.

On top of all, i was pretty, so i could never pass unnoticed by someone.

Ahh, what a great feeling! Getting so many attentions without even opening my mouth. I was madly in love

with that naughty sensation.

A part of me couldn't care less about other human beings, but the other half silenlty craved to be noticed by them, being watched by them and picturing

all of their possible comments about me, in my head. I was deeply amused by it!

That they were young women feeling jealous of my style, innocent kids being scared by my aggressive looks, or aroused guys trapped into their own carnal desires, it

didn't matter at all; i just wanted to be closely observed and admired, as an exotic and beutiful animal at the zoo.

Swinging my hips from left to right, moving my legs forth with sensual energy and directing my icy eyes in fron of me, without never looking at the sides, all of this

in a flawless posture, just as i was playing the model, step by step, i proudly brought myself to school.

It was an ordinary building, neither too small, neither too big., but attended by many students from the nerby prefactures. Some of them used to come from other far cities too, everyday.

Indeed, it was a renowned school.

My reputation among the entire student body, was a pretty messed up one. Even though i was just a freshman, my name spread and reached everybody's ears in less than

a month. The reason? Well, let's say that i did some weird stuff.

Apart from lazing around on the school roof and attending school dressed up like i was going to a party instead, i was also the girl who nonchantely read fashion magazines in

the middle of the lessons, totally ignoring my teachers calls, and the one playing nasty pranks on the student council.

Surely i had much time to waste, or at least this was what i wanted to believe.

Being a troublemaker was my main occupation twenty-four hours a day. After all, i had plenty of time to kill and the only source of entertainment i could rely on was myself,

so that if boredom was my imfamous enemy then i was its sneaky opponent. My parents were rarely informed abou my mischief; too busy with that onmyoudo stuff, even when the teachers tried to

call them, they almost never picked up the phone, since they weren't even at home.

The school also sent several letters filled with a bunch of complaints about my inappropriate and bad behaviour, but they never touched my parents hands. I quickly burnt them out before they

could ever read them.

Obviously, i was being as nasty as ever, but, you know, bad habits hardly die.

While royally marching into the principal hallway, i could definitely hear out some sinister whispers. I perfectly knew that noise made of coward low voices.

I used to call it "the sound of fame"; people were talking about me, again.

Look, she finally appeared...

Doesn't she have any shame? Coming to school like that!

The devil has returned to hell.

Ahh, Haru is so pretty, i'd like to ask her out one day!

Loser, loser and loser.

I was deeply delighted by those sharp and wicked obeservations, again, i was in the middle of a spotlight.

Every ground i used to walked on, istantly became my stage, and i was the queen of the show! A child from the stars.

I grinned to myself as i kept on walking towards my class: the parade had just begun.

"Stop right there, Haru Amawaka!" a firm and clear voice pronunced my name behind my back.

As the voice was ordering, i stopped in the middle of the hallway. Damn, i already knew the name of the one who abruptly interrupted my moment of glory. The party was over.

Trying to calm down my nerves, i turned my body into the opposite direction, facing my interlocutor.

"Hashiba-san, what a pleasure to meet you so early, today! I was anxiously waiting for your visit." i said in the most faked-lovely way.

"I don't racommend you to mess with me , right now. Your last joke wasn't even funny!"

Sakurako Hashiba. The student council's president and also my beloved rival. She's a very stric and i-know-everything kind of person; when i first met her,she kinda looked like my father and suddenly

it was hate at first sight!

Recently i heard from some rumors, that she had to cut her already short dark hair because of a funny genius's naughty prank.

Just to inform you: that genius was me.

We could say that i accidentally sticked my bubblegum among her hair, and that's the result: a very lame-looking and boyish haircut.

My best masterpieace!

"Oh really? I think you're rather cute...for the other girls."

"You little!"

"Chill, hair get fixed with time, unlike your attitude, though."

Before i could notice, students began to gather around us.

Great, it's showtime again! i thought while smiling of pleasure.

"You're not gonna get out of it so smoothly this time!"

I threw a rapid glance to my wristwatch .

"Well, i wouldn't be so sure if i were you..."

"What do you mean?"

Suddenly the school bell started ringing, informing the student body that lessons were about to start. As soon as its sound reached every corner

of the school building, the students began to hastly move.

Needless to say, the huge mass of high schoolers moving around the halls, created a fuss. I bet it was like this every morning! So noisy!

In that mess, losing your sense of direction was a piece of cake; the classes were like mirages. Basically it felt like being at a famous band's live concert.

Taking advantage of the situation, i sneaked away between the students and vanished into the hallway, leaving my enemy behind, in that stratospheric mess.

Safe! i told to myself while wandering around the whole building and searching for a

place to slack off insted of following the lessons. I guess the roof was the best place at that moment.

While i was stepping in elegance through the space, i found myself overwhelmed by the peaceful quiet which was floating in the big hallways. It was like

a gentle winter snow was landing in the inside of the school, appeasing the sound of my heels.

Indeed, it was a strange silence. I tried to let it slide away, but as i reached the main stairwell i had to stop myself.

A sudden chill went down through my spine, making me shiver. Abruptly, i started feeling restless, like i was being troubled by something which was rising up from my chest.

A slight drop of sweat began running down my forehead while i could clearly hear the dim sound of my teeth rattling with fear.

Was that a panic attack, or something?

When did i even start suffering from them?!

I was choking on my breath, just like someone or something was gripping my lungs from the inside. Letting out a single scream was impossible; everything in my

body just stopped working as i was blinded by a speed train of thoughts which were collecting and running wilde in my clouded brain.

In that moment my sight began to get blurry and hazy, the ground was slightly trembling, or were my legs? and i felt like i was reaching my limit and faint at any minute!

Fortunately i didn't get paralyzed by that frightening sensation, my muscles were still able to move, somehow. So i shook that nasty feeling off my shoulders and started walking upstairs.

My body was still reacting to my own will, but every inch of it felt so heavy and tensed up, i couldn't move at my usual pace.

With my clunched hands arund the railing and visibly limping in pain towards the upper exit door, i sensed a creepy aura which was pulling me from the back and

almost forcing me to stay inside the bulding.

An impurity? Impossible. If it was one, someone would have noticed that beforehand!

The only thing i was sure about, was my healthy and strong constitution: i wasn't feeling sick at all.

But if it wasn't an impurity and neither me having health issues, then what was that?!

Suddenly a dark murmuring made its way through my ears, a stinging headache arose all of a sudden, as a reaction to those sinister whispers.

Understading what kind of words were being spoken or who was spelling them was undetactable. All i could hear was their luring echo of and the ringing noise they had produced in my ears.

It was getting even worse, my brain was about to burst!

Only a few steps remained from the promised land, i absolutely had to get out of that place and stay at the light of the sun

in order to keep my sanity from slipping away in any moment.

I didn't know what the heck was happening to me and who was pulling the strings behind it, but i could guess some kind of

darkeness had been following me around since i left home.

The noise and the horrible pictures arose in my head were eating my mental sanity out at every passing second. If i hadn't reached the rooftop in time, i would have lost my mind or

collapsed, by all means! Before making the decisive step towards the outside world, i had the misguided idea of throwing my eye behind my back for a second., because i had the hunch about something which was

faintly clinging onto me.

I regretted it for the rest of my life.

I didn't completely turned my head towards that harbinger, but just in the corner of my eye, a disturbing black living stain, surrounded by smoke was intensely staring at me with its mischievous eyes

and cracked smile. I though i might have seen some dark-coloured blood dripping from its silouhette.

Everything happened in the blink of an eye. Before being totally drained into that insane picture, i quickly turned my head forth and threw my hand over

the door handle, putting my whole weight against it and pushing hard.

Finally crossed the threshold and left behind that living nightmare, i found myself overwhelmed and soaked in a sunlight bath.

The brightness of the sun's rays was so dazzling and blinding that, at first, i couldn't see anything apart from white.

By instinct, i rapidly covered my eyes, rising an arm in front of them.

As i revealed myself to the purity of the sunlight, all the madness from earlier vanished in the air like burnt away.

The oxygen into my lungs began to flow again while the warmh of the light kindly was carresing my skin and the chirping of the birds filled my heart with peace.

Making a step forward i closed my eyes, inhaling the spring flavour of the fresh air and letting a soft breeze messing my hair.

I'm pure, again! i thought with a realieved smile painted on my face.

After opening my eyes again, i looked in front of me and carved the contours of a human shape, standing behind the chain-link fence which enclosed the rooftop, gazing at the

landscape of the city. It was a very familiar silouhette.

Red flaming and messy hair, a long gray scarf dancing in the wind, a pair of sharp cold eyes. There was no doubt about his identity.

I could have recognized him among the whole crowd of Tokyo, if i wanted to.

He turned to face me, without moving an inch.

"Haru."

I stood there, freezing in surprise at his sight, stunned. Why now? Why in that place?

"Dad..."

Leaned with my back against the chain-link fence, staring at the endless blue sky, englightened by the sun, i was patiently waiting for his answer.

"So, what are you doing here?"

I asked him without even greeting him first.

My father was like that; he used to disappear from the household for days, sometimes also weeks, and then suddently showing himself again in the

less indicated place but with a perfect timing, like he was always watching over me.

That mere thought almost made me bite my tongue in annoyance! Effectively, that morning Yuzuru had informed me about dad wanting to talk with me about something...

I hated that fake apathetic expression carved on his face, or his pruod poise, or his strict attitude towards everyone, or...or...! Well, i hated him in his whole being.

A father who's never at home, without even caring for his wife or daughter, always risking his life in impossible missions throughout the world...

I just couldn't accept it! To me he was "the uncool rooster daddy". I guess i cought the habit of giving weird nicknames from my mother.

I wanted to roast that little rooster so much and baste it with all of his own big snotty words!

Yes, i was quite lovable with my father.

"I could ask you the same question, miss."

he finally answered me, with a pinch of harshness in his voice.

"I...wasn't feel well, so i came here. Don't change the subject, anyway!" i wasn't afraid of pointing my finger against him.

He was strong, indeed, but could have never hit me back. He was too kind.

"You should be in class by now. I bet this is not the first time you skip lessons, right?"

Again, twisting it around. Dealing with him personally was a real pain in the butt!

I stayed quiet, totally ignoring his question.

He visibly sighted in reaction.

"Listen Haru, i know you don't like talking to me but-"

"Wrong." i felt like correcting him. "I deeply despise talking to you!"

I've always had this rule in my policy since i was little: always be mean to your father.

Why? Because he doesn't have, neither deserves, any respect from my side.

Talking to him was more like battling against a soldier, and i wanted to win, no matter what. I'll always have

the last word in our discussions!

I didn't look at him directly that time, but i could sense his concerned and gloomy gaze on me, as i was shutting my mouth in a

religious silence, totally refusing to talk with him.

"I know. " he said lowering his voice, almost murmuring .

Hearing him surrender so easily to my battle strategy made my hands clench around the iron wires, with frustration. Playing the understanding father, now?

Don't make me laugh!

"Still, i wanted to tell you that i love you, and i want to protect you untill it will be possible for me."

I didn't know how to feel in front of that sentence. I should've been angry at him, because i didn't want to be fed up with lies and ridiculous excuses,

but the other part of me, made of a glimps of faith, wanted to believe his words, deep down.

I loosened up the grip of my hand for a moment, bowing my head a little.

"If you want to protect me..." i started whispering "...you should be staying here, in the first place!" i finished my sentence in a loud, almost screaming voice.

The birds all flew away, startled.

The sweet spring breeze was kindly blowing on the roof, caressing and making our hair wave as we stood there in silence, beside each other.

We spent a few seconds like that, while i was already thinking about his possible answer.

"I have work to do too!"

" I have to protect you from much dangerous things that could destroy our world!"

I knew he was about to say something like this. My father was easy predictable, at least to me.

"Haru-"

"Any-way!..." i abruptly interrupted him, before he could take out one of this usual excuses.

"What brings you here today?"

Dad cleared his voice in a cough, as for pulling himself back together, and began to speak.

"I guess you're not in the mood to talk about becoming an onmoyji, yet..."

As hell i would! i thought while wincing with irritation at the mere proununcing of the word "onmyouji" on his lips.

"...i just came here to give you this."

He reached into his pocket, rifling through for a while and then pulling out a necklace with a small pendant hung up on a red string.

I looked at the little jewel with a lifted eyebrow, confused and kinda surprised.

Earlier, the creepy shadow following me around, now dad giving me a present...

Strange things were happening that day! But i tried to shake off that stupid thought from my mind.

"It's...cute." i was stunned by my own words. I was liking something i received as a gift from my father!

"It's a an enchanted charm which protects from evil."

Ugh, i should've expected that.

Obviously, my father could only give me an exorcist-like item as a sudden present!

I took back what i said about it earlier. Not even close to be called cute.

"And why are you giving me this right now?"

Dad was slightly hiding his face in the grayish scarf, turning his whole body towards the landscape, refusing to face me.

I guess he was probably embarrassed.

"It's...for your birthday."

Oh my, i really want to laugh now.

So my father was giving me an echanted charm as a very late birthday present?"

I mean, my birthday had been almost five months ago!

Moreover, something to protect myself from impurities and evil spirits?

So hilarious!

I really wanted to laugh my butt off, but my external reaction came out pretty twisted.

I was trembling in rage, still holding the pendant like some kind of disgusting animal, right betweenn the tips of my fingers,

grinding my teeth and clenching my other fist. I was about to explode!

"I sensed a dangerous and dark aura coming from this school and rushed here. I was worried that something could happen to you!

I'm glad to see you're alright." he said while putting both hands on my tiny shoulders.

Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to touch me and tell me that he was so relieved?

My rage vanished at the sweet and simple contact of his hands against my shoulders. I was very weak to physical touch; i wondered if he knew that...

The slight tremor suddenly calmed down and my teeth stopped raging against each other.

Properly holding and bringing the necklace to my chest i nodded to him.

"Um."

"I have to return to work now. Be careful on the way home."

I watched him in silence as he was about to fly away thanks to his powers.

"Another thing..."

"What?" i asked with an annoyed face.

"Go to your class."

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breathe before yelling at him, "Stop telling me what i have to do, you uncool rooster daddy!"

He kindly chuckled at my words and then flew away towards an unknown destination.

I turned my back towards the landscape and closely stared at the little charm in my hands while a gentle warmth spreading

throught my powdered cheeks.

Baka.

_.

Baka: literally means "stupid" in japanese

Aaand, here we have arrived! Finally word after word i reached the end of the chapter in almost no time! Remember when i said that the story would have been a fast paced one?

Well, forget about it, after all i 'd rather dwell on the details of the story! I hope you're all silently following the fic and enjoying the reading, because i'm putting a lot of efforts in it, and i'd love you to review it

or put it in the followed story, as well. Okay, guys, i'll update soon enough, untill that moment, stay tuned!


	4. The shadows' ballade, part II

Hiyaa, my dear silent readers! Even though i didn't get many reviews i still want to thank you for keep reading this  
little piece of work. I really appreciated the views and the visitators! Now i'm here again, with another chapter of this pretty intense story. Have a nice reading!

The betwitching beauty and brightness of the colourful city lights under the night sky, portrayed in my delighted eyes, were enough  
to make me feel like i was lost the wonderland of Tokyo. Sitting on the cold edge of a fountain, in Akibahara, as i was gazing at the  
amazing crowd of people, wandering through the streets, i started thinking about what kind of different lives those people were leading.  
Sometimes i used to do that, a lot.  
Office employees hastly walking with their folders, hoping to catch the bus in time to come back at their home, where their lovely and caring wives were waiting for them  
with a setted dining table and a cup of warm rice. Young middle school girl thoughtlessly chuckling as they just walked out of the karaoke...i could've observed people living their own lives, forever.  
Tokyo was like that: An endless spectacle of flashing lights and a lively crowd, with a nasty traffic noise behind it, playing in the background.  
"Hey Haru _-chan_ , are you listening?"  
Still drowning into that view and my train of thoughts, the sound of a deep voice abruptly brought me back to reality.  
"U-um. So, you were talking about your friend, right?"  
Honestly i couldn't care less about his speech. He was such a boring guy! By that time, i had already forgotten his name too.  
"What's wrong with you, Haru-chan? You've been spacing out all the time, lately."  
I calmy took another sip from the straw of my chocolate milkshake, vaguely listening him.  
"...You should enjoy our date more!" he said with a pinch of malice in his voice.  
Ungluing my lips from the drinking straw, i slightly rolled my eyes with annoyance and faked a cheerful smile.  
"Yup, you're right! Sorry for earlier."  
"No problem, dear."  
He was about to put his arm around my shoulders when i saw my phone's display glowing in a cool white light.  
A single name appeared in the middle of the screen: Ren.  
I watched the little writing surrounded by a bright light for a few seconds. I was pondering.  
I was kind thankful to him, for calling me with such a perfect timing, by the other hand, i was wondering what could have pressured him  
into doing it.  
 _Probably he just want me to come back home, because it's late..._  
"Are you not answering?"  
I gazed at the phone a little bit more, deeply focused, then i shoock my head in response.  
"Naah, it's fine. I guess it's not even important!" i said as i put away the phone, ignoring his call.  
That day i already had enough of people trying to tell me what to do, or subdue me under their intents! I just wanted to break free for a while  
and distance myself from the rest of the world. I needed it.  
Yet, my mind was drifting away from reality. I couldn't even stop it.  
My head was filled with anguish and concern, still thinking about what happened to school the same day.  
 _What was that thing? Am i crazy? What i'm supposed to do now?!_  
As a daughter of an exorcists family, i'd shouldn't been so surprised by that event. People or impurities aiming for my life was what  
i'd always been prepeared for, since i was just a little girl. Ren and Rin were both at my service for this purpose.  
But that thing which almost attacked me that morning, wasn't a common impurity. I felt it in my bones!  
My brain was trying to convince itself that it was just a case, a pure accident, just me being in the wrong place at the wrong moment!  
That an impurity like that, could have attacked anyone and i was just the unluky one. Deep inside, though, somewhere in a sensitive spot of my soul  
I knew it wasn't an accident created from mere casuality. I just didn't want to face the truth which was laying beneath.  
I gulped. Anxious.  
As my mind was recalling that moment of fear and haziness, my fingertips began to tremble. Aware enough of my body and my perceptions i quickly  
tried to shake that sensation off and coming back with my feet down to earth.  
"Hey, why don't we go for a walk? I wanna take a glance to the shops'windows!"  
I got up on my legs in a hit of excitement.  
"Uhm...yeah, sure."  
"Nice!"  
Putting one foot in front of the other, i started walking for an unknown destination, keeping my arm tangled with his. Finally  
i had regained a bit of serenety just from leaving the place where i was sitting untill a few minutes ago. Now i was superficially laughing and  
chattering with the boy i was clinging to, and even though i was just pretending to have fun, at least i didn't feel troubled anymore.  
But then it happened.  
Still nonchantly walking on the streets of Akihabara, i accidentally collided with a woman. A very pretty one, who was wearing a black long coat and  
a fancy hat. The moment our shoulders touched i took a step into hell.  
At first i didn't feel anything, apart from the urge of apologizing for my oversight. But before i could do that i started feeling sick again.  
The woman continued on her path without even saying a word, even though, as i saw her walking away, i could catch a slight glance of a mischievous grin on her pale face.  
I stopped and frozen on the spot.  
"What's the problem, Haru-chan?"  
His voice was so distant now from me, i couldn't even feel our bodies touching anymore! Everything started frightfully swinging. My sight grew blurry and cloudy, again.  
I felt like i was abou to throw up at any given moment and every single cell inside my body turned upside-down.  
A whirlwind of mixed voice that i couldn't recognize, suddenly arose in my head and started haunting me from the inside.  
 _"I don't want to...please...save me..."_  
 _"Stay calm, we'll find a way to..."_  
 _" It's dark...it's dark!"_  
In my ears, those voices were rather muffled and distant, their echo resounded in my brain, awaking a terrible headache!  
And then i saw it.  
The garden.  
My special place! Drenched in red, probably blood.  
My mother was staring at the garden, sat on the wooden veranda, giving me her back.  
That's when she slowly turned to me and curved her lips in a kind smile. But something was missing on her pretty face, something of vital.  
She was eyesless.  
I was terrified at the sight of that picture!  
When i tried to pull myself together, another image portrayed itself in my mind.  
Me, who i was holding a pair of marbles in my hand.  
And then i looked into the mirror, which was standing besides me, and saw another eyesless face, my eyesless face. The marbles were probably my eyes.  
Endless seconds were beating a slow-paced flow of time as darkened pictures and disturbed voices were gathering inside my head, making me go insane.  
It was like i was being hitted by a hurricane of nightmares, while i was wide awake in reality.  
"...Haru!"  
Suddenly i heard him again.  
"Eh?..." still dizzy and confused, i couldn't manage to put some sensed words together.  
"Are you allright? You were like in a trance!"  
Stunned by my own reaction, but more self-aware, i remembered Ren calling me just a while ago.  
"Ah, S-sorry, i have to go now! See you!"  
"Wha..."  
I ran away.  
Hopefully, my body hadn't been dragged into that roller-coaster of dreadful sensations, that time. I could freely move.  
But i was scared, like a little mouse cornered by a cat in a dark alley, therefore i began to run as fast as i could!  
But what i was running away from?  
I perfectly knew that what happened a few seconds ago, was just a some kind of delusion, and nothing more.  
Yet, i felt like something was wrapping my soul up. Dark and heavy hands.  
Something was wrong with me, now i was sure of it!  
A hunt. Nothing was hunting me on the outside, but a rush inside was telling me that i had to run.  
Run from something within my body.  
Darkness was chasing after me; shadows were dancing in my heart.  
Before i could realize where i was heading to, i found myself in a desolate park. I stopped in front of it an noticed a throbbing dim light, coming from my neck.  
The enchanted pendant.  
It was blinking in a warm yellow glow, as if something made it react.  
I took the charm in my hands and looked at it closely. A light flame inside the crystal-like locket was burning and sparkling in magic.  
Trying to connect the dots, i had a hunch of its possible meaning.  
I clearly remember my father saying that the enchanted charm's purpose was to protect from evil energy. Maybe the pendant reacting  
and the previous accident were linked, after all!  
I walked towards a bench in the lonely park, enlightened only by the lampposts' light, and sat on it, trying to calm myself.  
By instinct, i held the pendant tight in my hands and pulled it to my chest, focusing my attention only on the warmth and the brightness  
of the mistic jewel. As i was doing that, i felt the rush of my heartbeat calming down and recovering.  
 _"It's like a piace of the sun."  
_ I thought while i was still clinging onto it.  
Undoubtedly, an echanted charm made of the purity of the sun's possibilities were rather high.  
I could expect everything from the exocists' world.  
Also, when i was attacked by that thing the first time, once i reached the sunlight, i remember i was feeling better and  
pure again.  
The sun against the evil forces.  
Hmm, makes sense.  
It didn't pass much time before new troubles spotted me again.  
I was still trying to recover my body when a bunch of guys approched me.  
"Hey, cutie, what are you doing here all alone?"  
Oh, for God's sake!  
I ignored his question, at first.  
"Are you deaf? Not that i care to be honest!"  
My poor nerves were about to lose it. I was in some serious pinch.  
What was wrong with that day?!  
"Listen, i don't have any time to waste on you, guys. Leave me alone!"  
I was completely surrounded, by more or less, eight guys all at once.  
I wasn't that afraid, honestly. The thing from earlier was much scarier in my opinion!  
"Uhh, you're difficult one. I don't mind at all!"  
I sighed, already fed up with that situation, so i put myself together and stood on my own feet as for walking away. But  
while moving a step forward i found myself still half-dizzy and weak.  
The guy gripped my arm and pulled me closer.  
"C'mon miss, have some fun with us!" he said with a mischivous grin on his face. I clenched my fists and showed of my teeth in response. I was struggling.  
Suddenly, a flying animal fell from the sky and landed on the ground, roaring with impetus!  
Sat on that creature's back, there was a guy with familiar features.  
Frightened by that supernatural view, the bad-looking guys run away with tails between their legs.  
I had never been so relieved to see Ren's face in all my life, 'till that moment.  
"You seemed in distress, young lady."  
He said while landing his feet on the ground.  
"You're late, baka Ren!"  
Chuckling and coming towards me, he started scrambling my hair, "Gomen, gomen!"  
I swelled my cheeks, sulking and puffing in a fake angry face.  
" Why are you here, by the way?" i asked him, pushing his hand aside.  
"You didn't answer the phone and i was worried. Also you better come with me, right now!"  
He turned to his flying monster, Kora, an _inugami_ equipped with big wings, and put his sweet weight on its back, suggesting me to  
come along.  
"Where?"  
"To the hospital."  
"The hospital?! What happened?" i rushed and quickly jumped on Kora's back as well, easily alarmed by the word "hospital".  
"Mayura-sama."  
"Mom?!"  
I held on tight to his jacket as we were about to take off.  
Strange and dangerous things were happening all of a sudden. The whole situation was smelly, to me. But i didn't matter at that time, because  
the only thing i could think about was my mother's conditions.  
The landscape in my eyes was getting smaller as we were lifting in the night sky. The city lights all gathered in a big colourful stain, abruptly reminded me  
of the echanted charm's pendant and the white flame shining and sparkling in its crystal.  
The pendant was silent now. No light, no flickering. Just a little twinkle due to the glassy's texture of the jewel.  
"Hey!"  
"Um?" the coral pink-haired boy in front of me, slightly threw his gaze behind his back, towards me.  
"What happened to mom?"  
He didn't answer me right away, it seemed like he was carefully pondering his words.  
The sound of the high-speed coming wind, perfectly replaced the unhearable silence which was wrapping around us.  
"You'll see when we'll get there."  
Tch. Why he was being so mysterious?! Not getting a proper answer, only agitated me more!  
What was going on? Why everything was so messed up, now?  
Back there, i didn't have clue.  
Kora's speed increased all of a sudden, making me need to cling to Ren. He was even more concerned than me, i knew it.  
I guess he was the one in need of some confort, while all i really needed were answers.  
So we sailed the black-starry sky for a while, both very nervous and impatient, and as we were flying under the sweet moonlight, i  
looked up above my head and saw the Milky way laying peacefully over the blakness of heaven. In its precious collection of bright dots, i spotted a shooting star passing by.  
It was a red-flaming star with a long white tail, shining in purity. I never saw one in my whole life.  
They say you should make a wish on it but i had no one, at that time; so, i just let it run away towards new skies.

_

"As i already said, i'm fine!"  
My mother was sitting on the hospital bed with her left hand completely bandaged and vaguely stained wth blood.  
She was cheerful and bright like anything really happened to her, as always. I guess she didn't want us to worry about her condition.  
From her story, it seemed like she carelessly cut her hand while she was trying to cook dinner.  
So stubborn.  
"You are not allowed to use the kitchen! Why did you do this so thoughtlessly?!" i yelled at her.  
Indeed i was mad, more for her stupidity than anything else. Her sight was slowly getting worse as time was passing by.  
She simply smiled at me with a lovely expression, "I wanted to do something for you guys, it's been a while since i touched the stove!"  
But that sweet and relaxed face was actually hiding an unbearable pain. She was sweating hard.  
Of course the cut she was talking about, wasn't a little one. I even doubted it was a cut, in the first place.  
"Mayura-sama, you should have left this work to someone else." Ren said with his usual polite poise.  
She laughed in response "I know, really. Seems like i've become pretty useless lately!"  
As she said that sentence, my blood boiled in pure rage.  
Without even thinking about the proper words to use, i started screaming with a loud voice.  
"Are you stupid?!"  
Her eyes were glowless and cloudy, partially engulfed with darkness; she was staring at the nothingness in front of her, at a void me,  
but her face was painted with astonishment for my rushed reaction.  
"Haru, calm down..." Rin got close to me and put one hand on my shoulder with a gentle touch.  
"No, she has to deal with it!" i said as i abruptly shook his hand off of my shoulder, taking a step forward "Mom, you are almost completely blind!"  
As i shouted that, silence arose between us. I took a brief pause to watch her reaction.  
She was patiently waiting for me to go ahead with my riot act, facing me with a warm-hearted smiile.  
"Most of the ordinary things you used to do once, are now dangerous for you. You're an invalid, get over it already!"  
Yeah, she was partially blind, and in a few years she would have become a total one. This was the true and sad story about my mother's exorcist nipped career.  
She was one of the twelve heavenly commanders, entrusted with the White tiger's echanted talisman and the former head of the Amawaka clan.  
But after a fateful accident on the battlefield her sight was put on the line, or at least this is what i've been told.  
Since the light in her eyes have grown dimmer and dimmer, she turned her back to the truth, refusing to accept the reality of facts, but most of all  
she didn't want to let go all of what she has built since she was a teenager like me.  
And now, nobody dares to tell her about her futility in a mission, because she would get mad or pretty hurted by it.  
But i don't care anymore!  
As i stopped speaking, mom slowly stood up from the hospital bed and came towards me. At first, i thought she was about to slap me, or something  
than i remembered that we were talking about my mom, Mayura Amawaka, who wouldn't even hurt a fly.  
She looked at me, like she was desperately searching for my eyes, but without success. Then she took my face between her soft hands and whispered "Haru, i love you."  
Eh?  
What was the meaning behind those words, now?  
My eyes were opened wide in surprise , letting the cold light of the room filling them. For a moment, i also felt like i was about to tear up.  
"You really are your father's daughter. You are just like him when he was younger."  
While saying that i could hear my mom's voice breaking with emotion as her eyes started getting watery and an overjoyed smile blossomed on her face.  
Ahh, my body felt so warm back then! Her words reached the deepest and locked door of my hardened heart.  
I didn't want to admit it, though.  
I though that i used to hate my parents, that i could've never forgiven them! Maybe i was wrong...  
My mother was just a poor forgotten soul who didn't have much to rely on, excpet her family's love.  
On top of all, like she used to repeat me most of the time, i was her only left light.  
I was her sun, her Haru.  
How could i've forgotten this?!  
Probably my mother didn't care anymore about being an exorcist or the head of the clan; maybe the only thing she was still  
hoping to be, was a lovely and caring wife and mother. I could see that in her lightless eyes.  
I gently grab her wrist and took her right hand into mine, with the saddest expression i could ever make while talking to one of my parents.  
Finally i was unleashing all my vulnerability in front of her.  
"I am...your daughter, too." i said with a trickle of salted water, streaming down my blushing cheek.  
The curve of her lips became even bigger as she was tearing for love.

"So you think she's lying?"  
Heading towards the waiting room of the hospital i found Rin and Ren, suspiciously talking with each other in the main hallway.  
After reading between the lines and getting the secrecy mood's vibes, i hid myelf behind a corner, trying to overhear their conversation.  
"I don't know this for sure, but something doesn't add up." Ren voice was rather low and filled with mistrust.  
"What do you mean, Nii-san?"  
"First of all, she said she accidentally cut hearself while cooking, but her injury was too deep to be classified as a simple cut. Like, she  
had been stabbed."  
After hearing the word "stabbed" i abruptly jumped out of my hiding place and showed myself to the twins.  
"No way! She would never stab herself!" i shouted.  
Rin and Ren's faces were stunned by my sudden appearance.  
"Haru wha-!"  
I stood there, waiting for my answer and eager to skip the unnecessary reactions.  
"Ahh, okay." Ren gave me a nod, inviting me to join their conversation.  
"What's with this stabbing thing?" i bluntly asked without even caring about my high pitch.  
"Shhh!" they both brought their forefingers to the lips as for asking me to keep it quite.  
"Cutting to the chase, we think Mayura-sama was stabbed by someone."  
Astonishment was clearly detectable in my eyes while i was ilistening to Ren's explanation.  
"But Nii-san, who could've done that? Beside, the house was full of other family members. An intruder would've been  
easily spotted."  
"Hmm..." The glasses-wearer guy started pondering with his chin wrapped in his fingers. "Nobody would betray the family neither."  
Obviosly, hurting the blind head of the clan was pointless. It wouldn't have led to anywhere!  
I turned my back to them.  
"Maybe sleeping over it, it will clear our mind." i said as i started walking away.  
"Haru, where are you going?" Rin asked.  
Without even facing them and keep on stepping forth i answered, "I'm going home, staying here is a waste of time. Yuzuru will take care of mom."

In my mind i was almost close to the end of that case, but i wanted to confirm my personal theory.  
I didn't speak about what was going on with me to Ren and Rin, because i didn't want to trouble them for nothing. I didn't even have a name to explain it!  
I made a fantasy in my brain, where everything was strangely connected, which i really wanted to test.  
So i headed to the kitchen of our family's private apartment to examine the crime scene.  
As i was already expecting, nobody was in the living room, which was a single room with the small but welcoming kitchen.  
Carefully crossing the doorstep, i entered into that wide space and threw an eye over the work plan.  
By that time, i could easily detect some blood stains, not even dried yet, spilled over the floor, the sink but mosty on the cutting board.  
Nothing had been touched, the ingredients were still laying on the table. There was a pot with vegetables in, still supported on the turned off burners.  
Just near the stove, i found the murder weapon!  
It was a long-sharpened bread knife, still drenched in fresh blood.  
I hadn't become a detective in one night, but after a while i noticed that the air in the room was quite heavy to breath and kinda polluted.  
 _Miasma?_ I asked myself as i was looking around.  
However, my focus returned to the well-shaped knife laying on the wood and the more i was observing it, the more i started to  
spot some rust on the edge and the handle, as well.  
How was it possible?  
I saw that knife at least a thousand times and nobody ever noticed it getting rusted.  
Suddenly i felt tempted. I wanted to touch it!  
A tiny voice in my mind was persuading me into putting my fingers on the edge and feel the hardness of the full-wooden handle.  
My heartbeat started to rush again and my hands began to sweat and tremble.  
 _C'mon Haru, is just a knife!_  
Yes, the same knife which mysteriously stabbed my mother's hand!  
Shit.  
Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, i carefully stretched my hand over the knife in the mere attempt to  
touch it. But before i could even sense the coldness of the blade,incredibly, the object went up in white flames.  
I couldn't believe my eyes! The knife was suddenly burning!  
Also the enchanted pendant was throbbing with a bright light, again. So the knife was rotting from impurity and the charm burnt it in reaction.  
 _I knew it.  
_ My mother hadn't been stabbed by someone, she had been, though, by _something_.  
And possibly that something was the same thing which had been haunting me all day.  
Those white flames were speaking clearly: an impurity or an evil source had touched the knife and used it against my mother, to hurt her.  
I was saying all that stuff in my head, but actually i was terrified.  
My whole body now was trembling in fear, and sweat was pouring hard down my face, teeth were chattering and legs started feeling numb.  
Something was chasing after me, and it was clearly ready to hurt the people around me in order to get me.  
What was i supposed to do?  
I was alone in that situation. Without a weapon or a power.  
Darkness was dancing around me.

_

That night i couldn't get any sleep at all.  
I kept on squirming inside my bedsheets, just like they were a mortal trap. Every single cell of my body was burning hot and feeling restless as i was  
having the worst nightmares of my life.  
I was standing on a water mirror, above my head there was clear blue sky with a big sun shining at the center, when suddenly a baleful wind started blowing and the  
sky got covered in blood-red clouds, eating up the purity of the sun. The water mirror broke under my feet, letting me fall into the cold black-pitched waters.  
While i was drowing further, tangled up with nasty hands, trying to bring me down, i was stretching my hand towards the small visible light above the surface  
but, in the end, it died in the darkness.  
I couldn't see a thing anymore but i felt like something was about to attack me. It was frightining!  
At the same time, in reality, i was desperately gasping for air, but my lungs were like paralyzed.  
I was so small. Big, yet small in front of the vestness of the black!  
Shadows were all that was surrouding me, back then. I could sense them crawling under my bed and craving for a delicious bite of my  
untainted heart. They wanted the purity of my blood and the clarity of my soul.  
I was their favorite prey.  
While i was crying startled in the apparent silence of my room, i heard a slight rumor of footsteps coming closer to my bed; and then i felt the sweet touch  
of a big hand stroking my hair.  
It calmed me down. Suddenly all the nightmares vanished away and a kind warmth spread throughout  
my chest.  
In the half-sleep of my body i couldn't properly recognized who was that person, but still now i like to think that it was my father.

Author's note:  
 **Inugami** : basically a dog shikigami.

Aaaad, cut! Yay, we finally arrived to the end of the fourth chapter! As you can see, things are starting to move pretty quickly!  
Anyway i still want to thank all my silent readers who are secretly following the story but are too shy to leave a review. Thank you, i appreciate your views!  
That's all for today, see you next chap! Stay tuned! 


	5. Restless

*steps on the stage* cough-cough , is this thing on? Okay. Welcome to a new chapter of "Starfire", my dear viewers! I was waiting to publish this chapter which i'm very proud of!  
The previous one didn't actually turned out like i wanted, but i hope you will forgive me after reading this one. Then, without saying anything more, have a nice reading and enjoy the chapter!

A dim ray of sunshine sweetly entered from the window, making its way inside my room and forcing my eyes to open.  
Caught in the pleasant numbness of the awakening, i stared at the wide and cold ceiling, in an seeming absence of thoughts, for a few seconds.  
 _Ahh, it's saturday._ I unsually woke up early for a public holiday.  
Throwing a distracted and drowsy glance to the alarm clock supported by the nightstand, i could barely tell what times was it, therefore, i frowned my eyebrows,  
increasing the focus in my eyes and properly read the time: 7.30 am.  
Too early.  
At first, i felt like giving my back to the bedside table and going back to sleep, because i was feeling very tired, then i started noticing  
an avalanche of rushing thoughts, slowly gathering in my head, which was threatening me of disturbing my dreams.  
Again, my mind was circuling restlessly in a carousel of negative vibes; thus, i hastly removed the bedsheets which were wrapping around my body and climbed down  
the canopy bed with a vigorous sprint, landing my feet on the wooden floor.  
A chill went through my spine: even though it was April, i could still sense a slight coolness whispering between those mansion's walls.  
I headed towards the wardrobe and quickly changed my nightgown, then fiixed my hair and tied them in a flawless sided-ponytail.  
When i looked into the mirror, though, i've grown horrofied by my own look.  
My eyes were swollen and red-injected with blood from all the crying in my sleep, circled with dark shadows. My skin tone was even paler than usual!  
If i had stood a little longer in front of that mirror, i was ready to bet about its possible shattering into pieaces.  
I looked like a ghost! An evil one!  
Maybe i could have put some make up for covering the black circles, but my eyes were another kettle of fish.  
Anyway, i didn't matter that much. Looking pretty wasn't my priority that day...strangely.  
After all, last night had been the worst night of my whole life, and somewhere deep in my heart i was still feeling tormented by the unpleasant sensations  
which those nighmares had left inside my bones. My brain, too, was feeling a bit drifted by those creepy and unreal pictures, foggy with a dark smoke .  
I felt like walking in a lucid dream, even though i was wide awake.  
The more i tried to shrug off those vibes, the more they were climbing back through my nerves, making me obsessed.  
Bringing my fingers on a temple, i started massaging them against it, with a soft pressure, in a strained and stressed out expression.  
My head gradually started hurting with a pain which was beating like a drum!  
Maybe i was just exhausted, sleep-deprived and too emotional. My cool facade was falling into pieaces, just like my sanity.  
Medicines wouldn't have solved anything, either. It wasn't something from a physical origin; indeed, my body was suffering, but that was just the consequence of a deeper issue.  
 _I need some fresh air..._ I said to myself and then led myself downstairs.  
As i was walking through the external yard of the house, i was gazing at the beautiful scenery of the blossomed garden.  
The flowers were sparkling with the freshness of the dew, dripping down their petals, and their colours were shining bright under the soft light of the young rising sun.  
Unfortunately, the big cherry blossom tree was slowly letting go of its pretty flowers. The blossoming season was about to end.  
Yet, the garden still looked like a magical and enchanted glade. Absolutely wonderful!  
Probably i was just overacting, but i loved nature just as i loved singing, which was my true passion.  
Simply watching at th gathered little flowers in the shrubberies was filling my heart with pure delight and innocence. The clarity of their sweet fragrance was engulfing my whole being  
with peace and serenety, regaining a bit of my usual spirit lightness.  
Then i stretched my fingers over the flower's petals, gently caressing them wth the tips; as i was doing so,i felt my lips curving into a genuine and shining smile,  
But suddenly the fresh dew which was laying on the flowers' crowns, turned into viscous blood and their cheerful colours faded to gray as they were slowly  
withering and rotting beneath my fingertips.  
My heart froze in horror.  
It took me a few seconds to realize that i was just being delusional, while my mind was playing me a bad prank.  
Whispering into my ears, a detached and disturbed voice was spelling some unidentifiable words. A nasty buzzing was going with it, as well.  
Everything that was around me stopped being and got paralyzed in a timeless and shadowy dimension.  
Same went for my body, totally frozen in a grip of fear.  
 _Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!_  
But the noise and the voices were growing louder and denser too, surrouding me and dragging me down in hell.  
Abruptly, i felt a human hand landing on my shoulder.  
"Haru!" i quickly turned my face, alarmed.  
"Good morning! What...hey, are you okay?" the amber-eyed boy with glasses on, who was standing behind me, rapidly took notice of my heavy breathing and the  
dripping sweat which was sparkling on my forehead, like a starry sky.  
"U-um, i'm alright, Ren."  
"I don't think you're alright, at all! Your skin is so pale, and i can see your neck pulsing from here."  
In that moment i had to call all of my strenght just to look as normal as possible, in front of him.  
I took a slight breath, without making him notice it.  
" I'm perfectly fine and healthy, you don't have to worry about me, i'm not a kid anymore!" i almost yelled at him.  
"Now that i'm looking at you better, you're wrecked: you have dark circle and you're eyes are so red!"  
His face had grown closer to mine while observing me. I pulled him away pressuring my fingers on his tiny nose.  
"Okay, i'll admit it. Maybe, i didn't sleep too well last night but-"  
"You had nightmares?" his expressione suddenly turned into a more serious and awfully worried one.  
I never saw him makind a face like that: a pair of blinking ambered-eyes under a frowning forehead, his lips boarded up with their angles downwards.  
Meanwhile he was cleanching his tender hands around the sharpness of my tight shoulders, almost on the verge of shaking them.  
He was scary.  
"Ren..." i looked him in the eyes, with a glimps of concern, as he was squeezing me more "I-it hurts..."  
"Oh sorry, Haru!" He jumped backwards, unleashing the grip and lifting his hands in the air. I guess he was pretty shocked by his own reaction, too.  
"Isn't it normal for people, having nightmare once in a while?" i asked him, staring at the ground beneath my feet, refusing to meet his sharp eyes.  
"Ah, y-yeah, you're right!"  
He didn't seem so convinced of his own words. Was he hiding something from me?  
"By the way Haru, what is that glowing thing around your neck?" he pointed his finger towards the flickering pendant.  
I panicked; i didn't want him to find out about its purpose. I quickly wrapped the locket into my hand and gave him my shoulder.  
"It's just a present from dad, nothing special..."  
I purposely avoided his inquiring gaze, and kept on looking at the flowers, instead.  
"Haru." he made a few step into my direction, enough to be very close to me, and then sweetly picked up my hand. My eyes finally met his in a stunned expression.  
"Are you..."  
He was intensely looking at me, searching for a very intimate part of my soul.  
 _How beutiful..._ i thought as my amazement was reflecting into those golden jewels.  
"Hey, you two, there is an important family meeting now, c'mon, hurry up!"  
Rin voice suddenly broke into the magic of the moment, and blew it away.  
Seriously, how much graceless could that guy be on a scale that went from zero to ten thousand?!  
"We're coming!" Ren asnwered loudly to his call.  
A family meeting? It was strange.  
I've rarely attended one when i was younger, especially because dad was never at home, due to his former work as an onmyouji.  
I curiously followed Ren heading indoors.

_

When i stepped into the living room, passing under the door frame, a lovely and warm-hearted family scene took shape and portrayed before my eyes.  
My mother, with her sweet and innocent temper, was sitting on the comfortable couch, hand-in-hand with her chivalrous husband, kneeled on the floor and leaned over her,  
talking to her in a mellow and low tone of voice, as he was cuddling her with sweet nothings.  
I had the pleasure to meet my dad twice in barely more than on day: a miracle! He'd never came back home with such a brief time gap between a visit and one other!  
Strangely, as his silouhette revealed into the clarity of my irises, i didn't feel the usual overflow of hatred, which always poisoned my blood.  
I felt rather apathetic about his reappearance, but maybe, and just maybe, a glimpse of delight may had lit in the motionlessness of my mood, as i saw him standind there, near my mom.  
A sparkle of wamth, floating in the shadowy deep-waters of my heart. I slighty curved upwards the corners of my mouth, as i was feeling that.  
My parents were together, in the same room, genuinely smiling and comforting each other: a perfect and filled with love picture.  
They were so in love with their better half!  
Dad's usual cold and strict gaze, turned out to be so soft and dreamy as he was mirroring into my mother's dull but unbridled with affection, marine eyes.  
Respect and blind loyalty, were mixing together in a perfect harmony, while i could easily picture the pace of their hearts, beating as they were one and the same.  
 _I see, so this is true love._ i told to myself, but actually i was rather aware of my ignorance about the theme.  
I kinda wanted to be a part of that lovely painting, too. i wanted to play the role of the offspring, born from their nurtured love.  
Tangled in those deep thoughts, running wilde in my mind, i could distinctly hear the passionate heartbeat in my chest, rushing with an new hope.  
"Don't worry about me, i'm fine now, darling." mom's soft cheeks coloured in a slight shade of pink.  
"Are you sure? I could cancel my schedule for today, if you want me to." he delicately whispered, still holding tight her fragile hands, and caressing her with the melodic sound of his voice.  
She politely shook the head in response, "You have to respect your duties as a Heavenly commander, first. Furthermore, i can always rely on the guys! Please, don't be so concerned."  
Her hand kindly freed itsef from his grip and switch to his cheek, stroking the smothness of the pale skin, as he was touching the back of her hand and kissing the fingertips.  
"Call me if there's anything troubling you"  
"I will."  
Their foreheads cuddly leaned against each other, meeting part way in an intimate but simple touch, too meaningful to understand.  
From the height of my easily-irritable temper, i was wondering if they were still aware of our attendance in the room. All three of us merely watching that heartwarming scene.  
Suddenly coughing in the the sweet silence of their complicity, i managed to make myself noticeable. I didn't want to ruin a married couple's love moment, but i started feeling a bit cut out from the  
so-called family meeting. Rin and Ren were quietly watching them, both visibly glad to see them together after some time.  
"Guys, Haru. I'm sorry for coming late, i was quite busy." he slightly bowed to us.  
Such a funny thing: a father apologizing to the kids for his late coming back. He was a righteous man, indeed.  
"Oh no, Shimon-sama, you don't have to apoloigize. We're already well aware of the importance of your work!"  
Ren bowed back to him, fully bending is back over and facing the ground. His brother immediately followed him in the act.  
For my part, i coldly crossed my arms against my breast and fixed my back in a straightened posture, with a glimpse of resolve in my eyes.  
My father genuinely smiled to their overpolite reactions, then calmly walked towards me and encircled my shoulders in a hug.  
"I'm glad to see that nothing serious happened to you. I was afraid the charm woudn't' have been enough to protect you."  
My overprotective father. Even though this side of him usually annoyed me in the past, that time i was fine with it.  
Evry muscle inside my body suddenly mellowed in the warmth of his embrace, and as the scent of his red-blazing hair was soaking my nose along  
with the softness of his skin, covered in clothes, the openness of my eyelids started loosening up in a pair of sweeten and half-closed eyes, now much milder than before.  
That spreading warmness, slowly reached the purity of my cheeks, colouring them with a rosy blush.  
Suddenly i felt like, deep down, i've always craved for that physical contact, hoping for him to overwhelm with affection, even though, a prouder  
part of me was still denying it. Vulnerable and frightened as i was back then, i found myself in a need of a hug like that.  
Gradully parting from my body, releasing the grip on my back, i could sense her concerned gaze searching for my eyes.  
But i refused to honestly face my feelings and focused my attention on the polished wood under my feet, hiding my shaded and flustered expression.  
Damn, i was so frustrated! He had dealt another blow into my weaknesses.  
I knew he wasn't expecting a proper answer from me, but i felt the urge to say something anyway; so i gathered my courage, swallowing the pride, for once.  
"I'm sorry i worried you...dad."  
Time stopped flowing for a while, as i was waiting for his reaction. After a few seconds, lifted my eyes a bit and immediately met the astonishment sullying his face.  
Embarrassment quickly blossomed in a faded red flower upon my cheeks. But then the weight of his hand gently landed on the softness of my hair and began to pet my head.  
He was tenderly looking at me, with his fresh and lightly watery eyes, a rosy dust on his cheeks and a welcoming smile. That moment, i think i returned to be a child. The sweetheart  
one that i used to be.  
"Just be more careful, okay?"  
I nodded and openly faced him, this time. But i regretted it pretty soon, making me wish i've never done that.  
His caring expression abruptly turned into a shocked and much darker one, as he started noticing the ugliness of my features.  
"You don't look so good. Something happened?" he asked while carefully studying every centimeter of my skin.  
"I just...had a rough night. I didn't sleep well."  
"What do you mean?" by asking that, the shape of his voice switched into a very earnest and darkened one.  
Why was he so agitated now?  
"I had nightmares, that's all!"  
As i spelled those words, i could visibly see his icy irises getting smaller and trembling in the whiteness of the eyes, and his red lips  
barely parting: he was wearing a stunned expression.  
Looking through those present, i could easily distinguish different shades of heavy concern, and ashy clouds passing through their faces, as i bluntly said  
that sentence. First,i cought mom with her slightly bowed head and not-visible gaze, sitting quietly on the couch; then my eyes went searching for Rin and Ren, who were both  
painfully staring at the ground, with their wrinkled foreheads, distressed by a bleak passing train of thoughts, which was furrowing their irises.  
Meanwhile, dad's angsty visage lightly faded to a more serious and tighten one. Just as he used to look at me when i was causing trouble.  
What the heck were those tragic reactions for, now?! They were acting like someone dear to them just passed away!  
"W-what's the matter?"  
I was sure i didn't do anything wrong; dreams had their own will and i couldn't possibly control them.  
Yet, why they were making me feel so guilty, all of a sudden?  
I never had an answer to my question.  
"Dear, you should go now. You woudn't like to be late at your working meeting, right?" mom's fine silouhette began to move towards dad's back, kindly caressing his shoulder.  
"Wait, what about _our_ meeting then?"  
I couldn't accept a family gathering where everyone was looking at me like that!  
"Don't worry about it, i wanted to stay here a few days. Besides, i was planning to go to certain place, before the assembly."  
He turned to face me "Would you like to come wih me?"  
An eyebrow lifted above my eye, while i was looking at him mildly puzzled.

_

The tingly fragrance of chrysanthemums and lillies was soaking the spring breeze, dancing and whispering around our figures.  
A smoke trickle,coming from the lit incense, was scattering into the pure air, as we were gathering in prayer, surrounded by the religiosity of the moment.  
"I wish you could've met her." he said unjoining his hands, standing beside me, "You would have got along, for sure."  
I was still paying my respect to the dead, but i could clearly hear a wistful sparkle budding in his voice.  
Lifting my gaze over the _haka_ i read the kanji of "little night" carved into the monument. Her lifespan hadn't been so long, apparenlty.  
"She died when she was just nineteen, but we were well aware of her brevity." his knees leaned on the dirty ground, as we was lightly passing his fingers over the stone's roughness.  
"Was she ill?"  
"Kinda."  
 _Kinda?_ I was very annoyed by the vagueness of his words. Why couldn't he just clearly answer me, for once?!  
Sayo Ikaruga was my father's non-blood related sister, his cousin. Little did i know about her; she should've been my aunt, but we never met.  
He stood up again, shaking the dirt off of his trousers, "She was desperately in love with life, especially with the outside world, but she wasn't  
allowed to get out from the Ikaruga mansion so many times." the lifting corners of his mouth were portraying a sad smile on his face, while those words were leaving his lips.  
"Why are you telling me this, now?" the sharp sounding of my voice, abruptly shattered the warmth of his memories.  
I wasn't angry or irritated, but simply, i couldn't understand the true meaning behind his deeds.  
He looked at me from the height of his shoulder, with an innocent wonder, "I just wanted to let you know about a small part of my family."  
A fuzzy and warm feeling, suddenly lit up in my chest, spreading throughout my whole body and reaching the top of my cheeks.  
I felt like staying quite for a while, caressed by the deepness of his caring words. He wanted to give me something of his which i was glad  
to welcome inside of me. A sense of peace engulfed our hearts as we were breathing the sancitity which was filling the place.  
"Thank you, for taking me here."  
My words echoed in the sweet-smelling air, bluntly breaking the quietness around us.  
I couldn't met his face, but i had a feeling he was looking at me with a loving glimpes in his eyes, standing in a deep meaning silence.  
"But..." i continued, "...next time let's go eat some ice cream. Together."  
As i was suggesting that, i turned my head to his opposite side, gazing at the other graves, in the hard attempt to hide my  
blushing face, already stained with pure embarrassment.  
"Sure." he answered in the background.

Spacing my eyes out of the wide and shiny window, which was occuping a large part of the wall in the living room, i didn't  
realized when i fell asleep, on the couch. I was exhausted; sleep-deprived from last night, so i coudn't help myself.  
The only thing i remembered from my being awake time, were the gray clouds coming forward and sailing the sky like a thousand ships.  
And then i've fallen victim of the blackness.  
In my dreams i was walking down a huge street, surrounded by ancient houses at the sides and garnished with lit lanterns.  
It was a lively place, filled with shops and stalls; people were wearing old-style clothes, such as kimono's.  
Was that Kyoto?  
As i was proceeding with my walk , a dark nd thick fog suddenly fell from the scarlet sky, engulfing the whole street.  
People around me vanished into the polluted air, leaving me alone, surrounded by decadent and rotten buildings.  
A heavy noise was coming from the end of the street, rumors of stomping and loud screams..  
Before i could even blink, an indistinguishable herd of monsters bumped onto me with an overwwhelming strenght.  
Those scary creatures started menacigly dancing and circling around me, crying in madness, bloodthirsty  
and fiercely craving for my flesh.  
I covered my ears, while shutting my eyes, as well, which were burning due to the tainted air.  
 _Go away! Go away!_ i was desperately screaming as i was trying to escape, but failing. I was caught in a cage of darkness!  
All of a sudden a familiar shadow appeared before my eyes, dripping in blood and watching me with its evil gaze. Blurry words were  
coming out from it mouth, and i couldn't understand anything in that filthy parade.  
The only thing i clearly heard was its creepy voice whispering, "i'm coming for you, child of light."  
When i returned to the awakened ones' land, i found myself covered in sweat, trembling, with Rin and Ren's alarmed faces  
above me. It took me a few seconds to regain perception of reality, while my panicked pupils were snapping around the room.  
"Haru! Haru!" a hand abruplty shook my shoulder.  
As i was blinking, i could easily track their distressed and starteled profiles.  
"What happened...?"  
My throat was dried and sore, like i had been screaming the whole time.  
"You were having a nightmare." Rin answered.  
"I see." i tried to fix my position on the messed couch, bringing my fingers to a temple. My head was in pain. "What were you doing?"  
"After hearing you screaming like crazy, we rushed over here and..." the guy in glasses took a doubtful pause, while throwing a concerned glance to the sofa.  
"And?"  
"You were squirming hard, we couldn't even wake you up. It was like you were being possesed by somthing."  
I froze in shock, clenching the fists upon my thighs and nerviously biting my lip.  
 _They cought me!_  
I didn't want to see their panicked faces. I didn't want them to know about what was going on. Not them, not my brothers.  
"Oh, c'mon, i was ju-"  
"Haru."  
Ren's grave voice cut my words out. His beutiful amber-like eyes, turned darker and hardened, like i never saw in my life.  
"Stop it, Nii-san! You can't tell her!" Rin yelled behind his brother's back.  
"T-tell me what?" I was still shaking in fear, i couldn't stop stuttering, feeling like many little shocks of electricity  
were tingling and flowing through my flesh.  
"We can't keep on hiding secrets from her!" he shouted in response. My heart jumped inside my chest.  
Taking a deep breath, Ren pulled himself together again, and delicately alighted his hand on my head.

"Haru, i think you should know something."

_

Author's notes:  
 **Haka** (墓): a family graveconsisting of a stone monument, with a place for flowers, incense, and water

*gets her lazy ass on the stage* cough-cough.  
Here we finally arrived to the ending of the chapter, guys! Haru is undoubtedly haunted by some evil thing, but at the same time she's opening herself  
a little bit towards Shimon! what'll it be the secret which the guys have been hiding from haru?  
If you're curious to find out, stay tuned! 


	6. Rising hope

*gets on stage* cough-cough, Hello dear readers! Before formally introducing you to the new chapter i'd like to say a few things.

First of all, this story is going to face big changes soon, because i asked some advices about its features and came up with new ideas. So don't hate me for what i'm going to add.

Second, i appreciate the views that the story is receiving, though, i'd like to have some opinions from you readers, as well. Don't be shy.

third and last, i decided that i'm gonna take it slow with publishing, cause i don't want this fic to end too soon, forgive me, i love it too much.

Explained this, you can proceed with the chapter. Have a nice reading ^^

Tiny teardrops of rain were slowly running down the windowpane, tracing the slightly fogged up glass with tender trickles of water.

Under the pouring rain, everything outside the windows seemed so melancholic, but sweet at the same time. It was strange.

I was sitting on my knees, in front of a little table. On the other side, a pair of ambered jewels, only covered by a pair of glasses, were travelling

down my poised silouhette, carefully investigating every inch of my body, as for catching even a little glimpse of my thoughts.

He's face was so serious.

The vividness of those warm eyes, overshadowed by a heavy disturbance, made them look like those of an animal.

A restless beast.

Before that time, i could've never dreamed of comparing his angelic face with something so scary.

The heaviness of his disquiet was weighting on my frail shoulders. I could sense it.

A delicate smell of citrus fruit gently made its way in the wide room, spreading through the air and lightening the tense atmosphere in which we

were dipped untill a while ago.

Rin was coming with warm tea.

"Sorry for the waiting." he poured some of the orange-flavoured liquid in our cups, as i was still looking into my interlocutor's eyes.

Steam was lifting from the fragrant hot water.

Silence was floating and wrapping around us. Nobody spoke.

Not a single sound, except the roaring of the rain.

The flesh in my body was hardened from strain, bones were petrified and my blood froze into my veins.

Time had stopped flowing in the room, as i was waiting for those mouth to disclose.

Two guys were in front of me, now. Both filled with answers which i was craving to get.

Finally,Rin broke the loudneess of that void.

"So, have you calmed down a bit, princess?"

Ignoring the last word of his sentence, i tried to keep it cool and hide the goosebumps storming on my skin.

"Yeah, i think i'm alright now." i said as i lowered my eyes, looking at the filled cup.

"You're still shivering." Ren pointed out.

Seems like my attempt to look tough didn't work on him, again. He was a sharp watcher.

I've always hated looking vulnerable in front of other people, with them was a different story, though.

I clenched my fists under the table, catching a breath.

Calming down after a bad dream like that, it wasn't easy. Electricity was still running down my spine.

I wrapped my hands around the cup's ceramics, which was possesed by the heat.

"Would you give me an explanation, now?"

The conversation was proceeding at a very slow pace. Long pauses elapsed between a sentence an another one.

Ren was patiently pondering about the right words to say; he was staring at the clear surface of his beverage..

Rin was silent too. I guess he was expecting his brother to take the lead.

In the end, Ren sighed.

"First of all, we want to apologize to you. We're sorry we've been hiding things from you." I was carefully listening to the politeness in his words, as he was

keep on speaking with a half-hearted voice. "We just wanted to protect you from the things we have to face everyday."

I see, they were onmyouji, after all.

With my eyes closed, i bowed my head a bit, as a sign of appreciation.

Yeah, they were protecting me. It was their duty as my bodyguards and older brothers. There was no need to get angry at them.

"And, are these things you have to face everyday, connected to my dreams, in some way?"

Ren stood quiet, again. I insisted.

"You're talking about-"

"Impurities." the coldness of his answer bluntly cutted my words like an icy splinter. "I'm talking about impurities."

Rin was nonchalantely sipping from the warm cup, while his brother's gaze was directly staring into the clarity of my eyes.

I swollowed, parting my lips in astonishment, as my heart skipped a beat.

Impurities.

Kegare.

Little i did know about them. They were the main purpose of fighting for exorcists.

The evil, uncleanness, defilement. Monsters who lived into another dimension, but that sometimes use to sneak into our world

and bring disaster. Impurities need to be purified, which was my family's and other exorcists' duty.

I didn't know how dangerous those kegare's power could be, but i knew they were perfectly capable of killing humans.

"How these impurities are connected to me?" i kept on asking.

The guy with glasses on, suddenly diverted his golden eyes from mine, focusing on the smoothness of the table.

His expression faded into a darker one.

Nervously biting his lip, he was wrapped in pure distress. With his eyebrows furrowing above his gaze, squeezing the cup in front of him.

I never saw him like that. Where did the old Ren disappear?

He was usually so calm, peacefull, and posed. He...he was true harmony, in all senses!

And now, why was he making that face? Why was he trembling inside?

In that moment, i really wished i could do something to bring the old Ren back to me. I wanted to hold his hand and give him warmth.

He was cringing. Rin put his hand on his shoulder.

"It can't be helped, Nii-san. She doesn't remember."

Me, not remembering something? Impossible.

I carved every second of my childhood into my own memory.

Ren visibly sighed, blowing away the steam, which was still rising from the cup, with his breath.

"I guess you're right." he pressed his fingers against the glasses's bridge, fixing them better on his nose, "Your memory was altered."

After freezing in my place for an istant, i lifted my knees and leaned over the table.

"W-what do you mean with this? what happened to me?!"

Seeing their serious faces reminded me of my excessive reaction, so i returned composed.

I cleared my voice and then asked more calmly, "What do you mean?"

Ren lifted his cup as he began speaking, "There's no need to worry, you're memory was just partially modified, for your own sake."

He took a quick sip, wetting his lips. I was waiting for him to go on, perplexed.

After slowly putting down the filled cup, he was still staring into the clearness of the water.

"Since you were little, you've always been subjected to terrible nightmares."

I was looking at him without fully understanding. He was being mysterious about it, as he was still trying to hide something.

"Isn't having nightmare a normal thing?" i abruptly asked.

Ren calmly shooked his head, "No, not for you."

From his left side, Rin took the floor, "Your nightmares were more than just bad dreams."

I already knew that. A normal nighmare wouldn't make me feel like i'm still walk into it, even after i woke up.

Yet, I didn't get what was wrong with me.

Every muscle of my body stretched in irritancy, "Would you mind be clearer? You were talking about impurities, right?"

Rin threw a glance over his right shoulder, beckoning to Ren to take the reins of the speech.

"Yeah, i did talk about impurities. In fact, they are the cause of your nightmares."

I scratched my thighs, "Go on."

He lowered his gaze, again, silently agreeing, "In the past, we've always rushed to your room, at night, hearing you screaming

and crying in your dreams, like someone was killing you. Your parents were pretty alarmed too."

The rain started coming down thicker, filling the air like a relentless waterfall.

In a distance, i could see darker clouds coming and covering the sky.

A storm was approaching.

"No matter how hard we could've shaken you, waking you up was almost impossible. You were caged into a bad dream."

Ren's anxiety was touchable. He was speaking with every inch of his body tightened, like he was

desperately trying to stop the blood from flowing into his veins and reaching his pouding heart.

He was trying to hold his restlessness within.

"But, you weren't like this just when you were asleep."

I lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

"Even when you were wide awake, you used to run to us telling that a monster was

chasing after you, or that you could hear voices, or that..."

"Yeah, i get it." i interrupted him, keeping my eyes overshadowed.

"So you mean, that you still feel those things?" Rin asked. I nodded in risponse.

The boy right in front of me gritted his teeth at my silent confirmation. Ren was undoubtedly troubled.

"I see, so it's happening again..."

As he was keeping me on my toes, i was growing more and more anxious. He was sounding so tragic.

"W-what is happening to me?" i started trembling again. I was feeling so weak.

After regaining a bit of composure, he continued with his speech, "...we immediately thought about impurities as the cause

of your pain, but..."

A vague feeling of distress was knotting my throat, making it hard to speak.

"...but?"

Ren took a deep breath, "...but, we couldn't see a thing around you." he said while exhaling.

Stunned. frozen.

A chill travelled through my whole body, making me shiver. What was the meaning of that?

Closing my mouth, i started biting and scratching my teeth against the softness of my lips, making them turn to red.

Again, i felt like something was eating me from the inside.

Ren took a pause, seeing me engulfed with a deep disquiet.

As i was staring at the brimming cup in front of me, i noticed that i didn't even swollowed a drop of it. I was too dragged into the conversation.

Loosing up the grip of my fists, i grapped my thighs instead, and gathered courage.

"So they weren't impurities?"

The twins looked even more concerned, "They were and weren't at the same time."

The glasses-wearer guy, gently moved aside his cup and folded his arms on the table.

"Actually, you were hunted by impurities, but they never attacked you. More like, you used to feel them coming close to you."

Getting close...

I knew what that meant. Shadows creeping and hiding in the dark corners of my mind.

Hearing his story, i could totally picture the image of a little me, curled up inside the thin white bedsheets, trembling in fear, with her teethrattling as she hears monsters

evil sniggering under the mattress.

"So, where are you going with this?" drops of salty water were running down my temple. I was sweating hard.

Ren half-lowered his eyelids, slightly bowing, "In the end, your parents brought you to a shintoist priest who casted a purifying enchantment on you,

which worked out, but since it was a short-term one, you had to go there many times, in order to be purified."

His chin was resting on his intertwined hands, as he was speaking without looking at me directly.

"What about my memories?"

"They were sealed and erased by the same priest. Apparently, he was a high-level exorcist." Rin answered while taking another sip of tea.

I couldn't believe at what my ears were hearing. I've passed all my life completely unaware of what i've really done.

No matter how hard i was trying, i couldn't minimally recall those memories, not a single shrine or man. They had been erased for real!

Pressing my fingers against a temple, i slowly started rubbing it.

"Knowing that is happening again, though..."

Ren never finished his sentece. He was sitting there, with his clenched fists and

his teeth pressed against each other, visibly engulfed with fear.

From my side, i wasn't properly sure about what kind of face showing. I was shoked in front of the truth of facts.

Of course, i was frightened, scrambled inside and deeply concerned. A thousand sparkles of electricity were dancing inside my bones; i felt

like my lungs were drowning and filling up with polluted air, as a dark spider was crawling up my spine, making me shiver.

So it was true.

Something was after me.

Impurites were after me.

They've always been. But why?

Why they were restlessly chasing and hunting me?

What they could've possibly wanted from me?

"Unfortunately, we don't know." Ren's deep voice, awakened me from my thoughts.

"Eh?"

Rin let out a small chuckle, "Your question was basically written on your face."

I waved, stunned. Was i being so see-through? My cheeks grew rosy as i started sulking.

"You should be thankful to your father if nothing bad happened to you." Ren abruptly broke the sympathy of the moment, returning to the main topic.

He pointed the hanging pendant from my neck. I instinctively brought my fingers on the jewel, carissing it.

"That charm has the power to keep impurities physically away from you."

Indeed, i knew that little pendant had that kind of power. After all, its light always warned me about dark presences coming closer.

But i was still having those nightmares. Did it mean that it wasn't enough?

He said physically, not totally.

"Woah!That's an enchanted stone. I'm surprised you noticed it." Rin said.

"I'm a A-class onmyouji, it just couldn't escape my eyes." he proudly lifted his chin, straightening his back in a respectful posture.

His brother's reaction to that sentece tuned out kinda odd, though.

The boy with messy hair, raised both his eyebrows; a malicious smirk appeared on his face as he told him, "Yeah, is because you're an A-class onmyouji. Sure!"

In a matter of a few moments, Ren's pale complexion suddenly turned into a bright and flashy red shade, as his eyes grown wide open, revealing the

brilliance of those ambered crystals in his eyes. He winced and quickly turned his visiby annoyed face into Rin's direction.

At that time, i didn't understand the meaning behind their strange behaviour, but i had to admit, they were so funny to watch! I couldn't hold back from giggling.

As they heard the cheerful sound of my stifled laughter, a tender smile spread across their faces.

I thought i'd been pacified by their unsullied innocence, but then, a shadow crossed my heart, again.

"So, what am i supposed to do now?" i asked while dropping my eyes into the stained, flavoured water.

The guys looked among themselves before giving me a proper answer, then Ren pulled out of his trousers'pocket a small piece of paper, making it slide

towards me, across the smoothness of the table surface.

I took the folded leaflet between my fingers and started examining it, as Ren proceeded with his explanation.

"These are the indications to get to the shrine; it's not too far from here. The priest should still serve that place."

Lifting my gaze from the paper, my eyes met with Rin's, "You're suggesting me to make myself purified again?"

"Up to this point, it always kept you safe for a period. Besides, we didn't figure out another way to keep impurities permanently away from you, yet."

I bowed my head and shifted the focus on the illustrated indications.

As he was telling me, the shrine wasn't so far from here, neither close though. It was located in the outskirts of the town, surrounded by

a very small forest, even though the main entrance was accessible from a common street.

A sudden sigh left my lips, "I guess, i don't have other choice."

"Don't worry, we'll come along with you."

Ahh, he came back.

My dear, overprotective brother.

I smiled to myself while thinking that. He just wanted to fulfill his work as my bodyguard.

"Are you sure? I mean, i can take care of myself, just fine."

Or at least, i was hopeful about it...

What could have ever happened while simply taking a walk?

Ren showed me a brotherly,warm smile, "We know you're pretty confident about yourself, Haru, but let us work for you, from time to time."

As i was heartily chuckling at his playfully desperate request, a shy ray of sunlight was breaking inside the room.

The rainy clouds were drifting away in a brand new sky, scattered by the piercing light of the sun.

A delicate veil of brilliancy landed all over the place, as colours regained their natural

brightness and dust was dancing in the rising light.

Shadows were finally returning to the darkness they belonged to.

Everything outside the big windowpane, was covered in many little diamonds of rain, which were sparkling under

the sun's essence. A silent peace embraced the world.

"We're leaving tomorrow, in the morning. Can you resist untill then?"

Swelling my chest with pride and blowing air out from my mouth, i answerd, "Humpf! Who do you think you're talking to? I'm a child of the Amawaka family;

there's no way i'm gonna lose to some filfhy impurity!"

Rin and Ren shared a complicit glance with each other, then turned to face me again.

"Yeah, you're right, Haru." the glasses-wearer boy answered me with a big smile, painted on his face.

I grinned back at him, with cheer, roughly grabbing the still-filled cup of tea and gracelessly shoving its content down my throat.

"Ouch! It burns!" i screamed while sticking out the tip of my tongue.

We couldn't hold ourselves back from laughing.

And just like that, the room suddenly filled with merriment.

My head was still storming with a thousand questions.

Even after talking about my problems with Rin and Ren, i was feeling troubled.

We didn't get a chance of deepening the theme of our conversation, at all.

There were so many things i wanted to ask them...

Why me of all the people?

I've always tried to keep myself away from the supernatural, but in the end, i turned out to be the most involved one with it.

A neverending series of episodes characterised by a dark texture.

I didn't want to be concerned with that stuff anymore; yet, i couldn't do anything, apart from running away and hide myself

in a place where shadows wouldn't have chased me.

Darkness was secretly craving from me, from a long time by now.

Suddenly, i felt a knot of fear in my throat, as i was asking myself what was i supposed to do from that point on.

It was fate? I was fated to feel haunted, forever?

Will i be bound to a shrine, for the rest of my life?

Certaintly, i needed to be purified.

I needed protection. I was talking about my own life, after all.

But, seriously there was no other way to escape this?

The thought of feeling cursed was burdening me and weighting on my stomach

like a big rock made of anxiety. I didn't want to accept it.

I didn't want to feel useless towards myself.

I had to do something. But what?

I was powerless against those monsters.

So many thing were happening around me, as a raging wind was blowing and thundering in my life.

I was standing there, in the eye of the storm, hopelessly weak, holding onto nothing but my faltering tiptoes.

Overwhelmed by the fateful events.

A sudden chill spread through my skin, as i was picturing that.

I stopped flipping the pages of the book about kegare i was reading, laying it on my chest as

i was staring at the empty ceiling of my room, from the softness of my bed.

I knew i had a choice.

Impurities weren't eternal being. Once you cleansed them, they won't come back.

I was the only daughter of a respectful family of exorcists, i've always watched them doing it. It wasn't a taboo, to me.

They were fiercily fighting kegare everyday, as their lives depended on it, for the sake of the others.

For the ones they loved.

In my eyes, it was a pathetic deed, but i didn't know if i could say the same thing now.

Impurities were a true disastrous phenomenon. They were like a tidal wave of darkness.

Craving for life to eat, thirsting for blood.

Chasing after innocent people with a hunger inside.

Letting them free wasn't allowed, they had to be purified at any cost.

It was the right thing to do.

No human being could possibly escape the prowling shadows which were staining the sky and

polluting the air. I couldn't escape from them, either.

I was a prey, as well.

A crucial question abrupty crossed my mind.

Will i always be a prey?

I stretched my arm towards the ceiling.

The candour of my hand was contrsting and glowing against the darkened wall, as i was reaching for nothingness.

Something was about to rip my policy apart. My solemn oath was trembling with uncertainty.

The chains wrapped around a long-time sealed door inside my heart were crumbling.

I've never thought that such a feeling could arise in me.

I can be...

The picture in my head was slowly taking a shape, when a sudden knocking on the door brought me back to reality.

"Yes?"

"It's me." my mom sneaked out of the half-closed door, revealing a part of her silouhette, "May i come in?"

I quickly lifted my back from the warmed duvet, "Y-yeah."

My mother was still recovering from her unpleasant accident, so she was spending a large part of her time at home, even

though she was busy with the paperwork. She managed to carve out a moment to pay a visit.

Delicately closing the door behind her back, she took a few steps towards the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a sweet voice, carefully sitting on the edge of the mattress.

I crossed my legs on the unmade sheets, still holding the book in my hands.

"Uh, nothing. Just reading random stuff." i said with an awkard note in my voice, hiding the text behind my back, "How are you, mom?"

"'i'm okay, but i still have some work to finish, so i won't stay long with you. Sorry." she apologized to me with an innocent and goofy smile.

"Ah! D-don't worry!" I waved my hands in front of my breast.

Her smile was still radiating warmth while she was staring at another me wrapped up in blackness. Her smile loosened up bit.

"I wanted to apologize for making you worry about me, last night."

The woman in front of me was resting her hand on the injured one, as she was looking into the void.

A raging fire of pride inside my heart was fiercely burning against my chest, begging me to let it possess my mouth and

flaming up my words. A tiny voice in the deepest corner of my mind was telling me to act like i always did in the past:

putting on a mask of arrogance and scratching my sharp tongue against people's good purposes.

I wanted to tell her, Humpf! i wasn't worried at all!.

But this was what the old me would've said.

Old me?

Wasn't i being my usual self?

Yet, i couldn't release those words. Something was pulling them back in my throat and putting out the flames.

I lowered my gaze to the white sheets, focusing on the vanishing overheat within my chest, which triggered the pouding of my heart, earlier.

No more poisoned torns were stinging me.

So, i fixed my body besides mom's, sitting on the edge of the bed with her.

"I'm glad this thing didn't happen to you." she proceeded.

Throwing my concerned glance to the bandaged hand which was laying on her lap, i asked " Does it hurt?"

"Well, it's a bit uncomfortable, but i'll get well soon."

As i was looking at the innocence in her expression, i felt like something was pulling my heartstings.

Guilty.

I couldn't help myself but recognize that feeling which was sinking its teeth into my core.

I was feeling responsible for what have happened to my mom.

I knew she was hiding a serious wound under the blood-stained gauze, a wound inflicted by something. Probably the same

something which was searching for me.

The guitly was turning my heart into a weighing stone, as i was silenlty consumed by dark thoughts.

"Are you alright, Haru?" she sensed the scream of my troubled quietness.

Hearing the concern of her voice, i shook my head in response, trying to get back from the shadow.

"It's just...a lot happened, recently. I'm not sure about how to handle it."

Despite the darkness feeding on what little was left of the light in her eyes, my mother was still looking normal.

Sometimes i aslo thought that she didn't need the sight, as she could see with another thing.

She was watching everything with the eyes of the heart.

She remained quite for a moment before answer me.

"I see. I don't want to force you in telling me what is going but..." she layed her injured hand on mine, "...whatever is troubling you, you must never

lose sight of yourself."

That sudden and gentle physical touch kinda surprised me. She kept on talking.

"Darkness can be scary sometimes, it's heavy and thick, but you have light within yourself. You should never forget this. "

Light, i repeated to myself.

"What does it mean?" i asked in astonishment.

She softened her gaze while motherly looking at me.

The afternoon sweet light was overwhelming mom's figure as she simply said, "Faith and courage."

She was seitting pretty in the sunbath. It was a beautiful picture.

"Only the brightest faith can lead you to the heartfeit courage, Haru. Therefore..." she leaned over me, tightening the grip on my hand, "Never stop believing in yoursef.

Keep on shining like the sun, because you're more special and stronger than what you think."

The intensity of her words hitted me like a sudden rainfall, overwhelming me with drops of feelings.

She was like the rising sun, passionately breaking through the empy sky, enlightening the world.

Her eyes were filled with shadows, as she was caged inside an endless nightmare, yet, something was still sparkling into those opacified gem , just like

the stars were burning into the nigh sky.

There was no need to question why my father fell for her.

She was perfect.

My lips curved into warm smile, as i could feel a brand new emotion rising inside my chest, spreading throughout

my whole body and making me thrilled. Adrenaline was running wilde, as my skin turned goosebumps-encrusted.

Something was moving deep inside of me.

Hope.

I could feel it springing up into my soul.

Determination was now flowing into my veins.

With the most resolute look in my eyes, i turned to my mother while nodding, "Uhm! You're right.

Thanks mom, i feel already stronger, now!"

She simply smiled back to me, looking proud of my behaviour.

She was damn right.

It didn't matter if i had no true powers, as long as i was still believing in myself.

I was stronger than darkness! I would never have let impurities endanger my life or my family, anymore!

Taking a decision wasn't easy, but i had faith! Faith in me and in my beloved ones.

I was ready.

As i was wearing my lucky pair of stockings, i decided i couldn't stand still forever.

It was time to move for me.

I threw a look to my figure into the mirror once again, before definitively sneaking out of the mansion.

I was different somehow, i was still thrilled by my mother's words.

She triggered me.

There was no time to waste, i needed to get rid of my issues, as soon as possible. I wasn't afraid!

I'll change my fate, just watch me!

Said that to myself, i quickly flee from home.

Destination: the shrine.

Later, i would've regretted my impulsive choice.

Author's note:

*pant pant*...Okay ehm...*pant pant*..it was quite the climb till here!

Anyway i'm not so happy about having finished the chapter *sob* i don't want this story to end!

But turning back to the story...!

As you can see, Haru is about to take the final decision (which i guess you already hintend) and from here on the story

will be fuuull of plot twists, i already warn you XD . Actully i didn't know if it should have been better to use Yokai or Impurities...

in the end i opted for the second one, but...*evil laughter*

Joking.

I hope you guys liked this chapter better than the previous ones, i'm still trying to improve after all.

C-can i ask you to leave a review if you liked it? *shyly rising a hand*

I woud be overjoyed by your opinions ^^.

For new updates, stay tuned!


	7. Walking towards the truth

Hello people! It's a pleasure to write another chapter of this fanfiction! I hope you guys will like it ^^

The site is always messing up the text, so forgive me if it's not much readable ==" i tried everything but it seems like it was useless, it couldn't be helped.

So, Haru basically sneaked out of home without Ren and Rin, _mattaku_ , that girl! Her character needs more development in the good way ^^" forgive her.

Guess that we can start with the new chapter now, enjoy your reading!

* * *

Make it to the the shrine had been easy.

As Rin and Ren said, it wasn't too far from home; just the time to make a quick run.

How lucky!

At first, i felt a bit guilty, sneaking out from the estate without saying anything to them.

 _They're gonna be angry at me, for sure,_ i thought.

But it couldn't be helped, I was feeling so loaded! It was like, my mother's words awakened something in me! A new light, a new hope, a new strenght!

I'v been tired of feeling weak and useless…

I needed those words, they enlightened my spirit, filling it with resolve.

On top of all, i was no kid anymore, i could have handled this on my own, just fine!

Rin and Ren were worrying too much. It was time for me to move.

I would have been the one to take care of myself!

Standing in front of a stony flight of steps, i was looking at the sign on the side.

Carved into the old wood, i could easily read the writing on it: _Jumikoshi shrine_

Never heard about it. Well, not that i ever cared about this things…

I fixed my posture, straightening the back on my feet, and returned to face the flight of steps.

 _Ahh, mendoukusai. How much do i have to walk?,_ I thought.

I guess i didn't have much choices left.

The sun was going doing and i didn't like the idea of walking home at full night.

 _I better hurry!_

Just when i was about to lay a foot on one stone, something suddenly crashed onto me, like a meteorite!

I fell to the ground.

"Ouch! It hurts…!" i said as i was patting my back.

When i opened my eyes again, i could clearly see a black silouhette leaned towards me.

 _A black silouhette? Don't tell me…_

As i was thinking the worst, i crawled back on the dirty ground, staring at the dark shape above me.

I was frightened. It was the same figure that i saw the first time, when everything started happening!

It laughed.

I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth, trying to look aggressive, while deep inside i was just a scaredy-cat. Why did it come to me? What did it want from me?

I already knew i didn't stand a choice against that shadow. I wasn't an exorcist, i had no power.

 _I'm screwed._ I thought, _this time i'm totally screwed!_

My knees wouldn't stop shaking and the pounding of my heart was threatening to burst into my chest.

Even my breath was cut short. I was trying to gasp for air, but my lungs were like tied up in a knot!

I'd never been so scared in all my life.

"Oh my! I wasn't looking where i was going, are you alright?" a hand stretched towards me.

I was too scared to grab it. So it was human, after all?

"Mm? You look so pale! What's the problem?"

My body was like paralyzed. I couldn't move an inch even if i wanted to.

What was wrong with me? I kept on looking at the human shape in front of me, as i was visibly trembling.

"Oh, i'm sorry if i startled you! Guess, i look pretty scary in black at this hour."

 _I see, so is just a human._

I let out a breath of relief, then i grab the hand which was waiting for me and lifted my body.

Now that i was looking better, she was a woman. I very beutiful one, too!

Long black hair and sparkling eyes.

Beautiful.

After realizing that i didn't say a single word since our physical impact, i shook my shoulders and started stuttering a little…

"Eh….uhm….I…"

What was wrong with me now?! I didn't even know what to say.

The woman in black let out a small chuckle, "You seem a bit shocked, can i help you, somehow?"

Her hand was still wrapping around mine, with a confident grip. I gathered the only left glimpses of lucidity and put in order my thoughts.

"I-i'm fine, really!..." i said while bringing my fingers on a temple, "Don't need to worry!"

"Glad to hear this!"

She had a kind and warm smile, painted on her white skin. Her aura kinda reassured me.

Our hands untied. Suddenly, her face leaned over mine, "Oh, i didn't notice it earlier, but…."

Her eyes were shining with pure curiosity and wonder, "You're a very pretty young lady!"

 _Eh?_

The unknown woman was truly charamed by my face. She kept staring into my icy eyes without hesitation.

I used to be complimented by a lot of people, mostly boys. It had never been a problem to me, i was happy to hear that i was beutiful, and charming, and pretty…!

But still, hearing these things from a woman….

I couldn't help myself, but feeling uncomfortable.

"Ah, Thanks…I can say the same thing of you, _Onee-sama_." It was true, that woman was beutiful.

She was poised, calm, and probably sweet, too. Just like my mother!

"Ahh, you're flattering me!" she said while caressing a rosy cheek with the palm of her hand. A pinch of embarrassement was spreading through her face, "But i'm more delighted, to be able to see such a beauty in front of me!" .

That woman was indeed nice, but something about her behaviour was troubling me.

I always knew i was a pretty girl, and i was often told too, but there were a lot of other chicks just like me out there! What was so special about me? She was weird.

Anyway, i tried putting on a friendly facade, smiling with kindness, "Thank you very much, I'm happy to make you feel this way."

She was just stranger, there was no need to rush goodbye, she would've probably went away soon.

"But….", before i could realize it, her fingers catched a strand of my hair, delicately lifting them a little, like they were precious threads of gold, "You should be careful. After all, you'll never know what may come after your sunshine."

Her eyes were different now. A shade was covering them.

Their shape changed too, looking more piercing and sharper. I thought i saw her grinning too…

A chill run down my spine as disquiet was arising in me again.

The more i was looking at her, the more i was feeling sick!

Everything was slowly turning darker and blurry, the ground beneath my feet felt so unstable, like it was about to break, and shivers didn't stop travelling over my body.

It was happening again, but why now?

The cold light of the street lamp was relentlessly flickering, as its light was growing dimmer.

I could feel it. The air was hard to breath , too.

Without even thinking about it, i quickly slapped her hand away, backing off.

With my hand pressed against my chest, i started panting. My heart was beating like crazy! The blood was running wilde into my veins, as i could feel my whole body being alarmed.

"Oh, forgive me, i didn't want to startle you!" the suspicious woman raised both hands in front of her.

Speaking was out of question. My body was rebelling against me.

Fear was all i could sense, wrapping me and tying my flesh.

What was happening? Why it was much stronger than the other times?

Probably, i reached the peak of malaise.

I wanted to run, run like i never did in my life! I needed to be purified as soon as possible.

I was going insane at every passing second! Voices were storming into my brain, again.

She was standing in front of me, calmly staring at a distressed me, with a peaceful smile.

I was sweating and trembling hard, as i was trying to hold inside the burning pain which was consuming me.

She couldn't notice that? No way. I wasn't delusional.

Something was harassing me, and i was pretty sure anyone could've noticed that!

"Seems like you are in some serious trouble, young lady."

 _I knew it! This thing is real!,_ i thought.

"Who…Who are you…?" i could barely speak, the pain was getting stronger.

The woman let out a small chuckle, "Nobody you should worry about. Just live your life like you always did, Haru Amawaka."

 _Not worrying? How could i not worryng about someone who knows my name without even telling her?!_

That woman was related, as well!

As i was watching her walking away, wrapped in the blackness of her long coat, i could feel the pain slowly leaving my body along with her silouhette, which was vanishing into the landscape. Finally loosened up the grip on my shirt, i straightened my back, trying to fight the reminiscences of distress inside my bones, and regained a bit of self- composure. After taking a deep breath, the voice left my head as well.

 _Who was that woman, anyway? She knew my name._

Twilight was overwhelming the city, as every shape was turning black against the purple sky.

"Crap! I have to hurry." I whispered to myself as i was standing under the dim light.

The stony staircase was endless.

No matter how many steps i kept on taking, my body was still feeling heavy and my breath wasn't

enough. I was slowly making my way through the thick woods which were surrounding me. It was creepy, everything was engulfed with darkness and i couldn't see a thing.

 _I hope i won't run into some weird animal!,_ i thought, as i was keeping on climbing up.

At the end of the flight of steps, i could see it: a red torii, marking and outlining the holy ground of the shrine. When i finally reached the last step, i threw an eye behind my back.

" _Woah, it was long!"_

I didn't know how my body couldn handle doing all the way up 'till there. I wasn't trained at all!

But it didn't matter, just a few steps forward and i would've reached the _Honden._

Therefore, i put a foot over the torii's marked line, but that was all that i could efford.

I was paralyzed, again. But this time was different.

I felt like every part of my body had been tied up with threads of steel! Moving even a muscle was impossibile.

"Wha-what is this now?!" I was stuck in that position. Only a half of me managed to cross the torii.

The more i was struggling, the more my body was getting heavier!

It was another crisis? Wait.

No.

I wasn't scared. Nothing was strange in the inside.

No voices, no trembling.

My breath was normal too.

Then, why was i blocked?!

"D-damn it…!"

Using my left strenght and pushing my body to the limit, somehow, i could move the other leg into

the holy territory. It felt like i was trying to lift a rock.

Sweat was running down my skin, as i was feeling unusually hot.

Suddenly my knees gave in and fell to the ground.

Now, a mysterious energy was pressing me from above, making my head bow down, like a strong gravity.

Probably, this is how a piece of paper felt after being crumpled up!

"Don't move, you filthy woman!" a sudden male voice broke into the silent dusk, ordering me to stay still.

"I couldn't even if i wanted to…" i answered as i was painstakingly trying to lift my forehead.

When my eyes met his's, i realized the seriousness of the situation.

A crowd of priests were holding any type of weapons and enchanted items in their hands, as they were intensely looking at me, like i was a dangerous beast.

What was going on, now?

Nobody ever told me about such a fierce welcoming committee!

Weren't shirines usually inhabited by peaceful old men and pretty priestess?

 _I guess i watched too many anime…_

"What's the meaning of this?" i yelled with all the voice in my lungs.

As those words left my lips, i felt a much heavier burden falling on my shoulders.

They were using some kind of spell on me!

It was painful. If i wouldn't have tried to resist, my bones could've broken under the pressure!

I was at my limit.

"Listen, i'm here to-"

"Shut up, _kegare onna_!" an old priest screamed, cutting off my words.

Suddenly ,i found myself surrounded by a shiny barrier, which was enclosing me in. It was getting smaller and smaller, untill it reached my body.

I cried.

The spell barrier was burning around me! Squeezing me and flaming on my skin.

It felt like torture.

Why were they doing this to me? I wasn't a kegare! I did nothing wrong.

Breathing was getting hard, i was growing weaker at every passing second.

Were they trying to kill me?...

Even if they could have tried, i would have never gave up on my life!

Holding myself tight, i pushed one feet against the ground, trying to lift my knee.

Of course, the purity of the light was burning me hard, i was exhausted from everything that happened earlier, and i had no strenght left into my body, but i wouldn't have died in front a shrine.

Gradually, i started rising from the dirty ground. My muscles were trembling with strain, and thick drops of salty water were raining down my face.

But i was fighting.

"N-no way, she can move!"

Yes, who do you think you're trying to push down? Haru Amawaka is not a softie!

I grinned at myself as i was keep on lifting my back, "Don't….screw with me, you bossy chicken priests!"

The boy from earlier, suddenly pointed to me an enchanted talisman, stuck between his fingers, "Then…eat this!"

The spell was about to activate its power, when someone appeared from behind the huge crowd.

"Everybody stop, immediately!"

His loud voice silenced the fuss.

The spell barrier came undone, along with all the pain.

I was finally released from the grip of hell.

Dropping my weight on the ground, i started panting and coughing, as i was looking at the sweat dripping from the tip of my nose which was staining the dirt and my hand both widened on the land.

I couldn't even find the power to lift my gaze towards the sound of the incoming footsteps.

Someone was getting closer.

"Young girl." He called, as his feet stopped in front of me.

I rested my knees on the floor and raised my forehead, enough to meet his eyes.

He was huge! His height and impressive mass were scary, and the cerimonial clothes only made him look bigger. Yet, his gaze was tender.

A big hand stretched towards me, offering me help. I gladly took it and straightened my body, fixing my posture. His grip was kind.

He checked me out a little, focusing his glance on my face, "Wait. You are…"

"I'm sorry, for earlier, Haru-san. My disciples are always a bit hasty."

Apparently, the big man was the head priest of the shrine, and he also seemed to recognize me.

We entered a wide half-empy room in the Honden.

He made me sit down on my knees, at the center of the space, as he also did the same thing, placing himself in front of me.

I was driven by curiosity, my eyes didn't stop from wandering through every corner of the main hall.

We were surroundend by nothing but air.

On the walls, i could spot a pair of swords, leaned on supports. They were probably holy items.

There were some hand-decorated pots too, standing at the base of a small altar.

The rest it would be too hard to explain…

Everything was covered with a veil of austerity.

"So, what brings you here, Haru-san?" he asked me from the top of his majesty.

He was like a nice giant, but still a giant he was! He could've crushed me if he wanted to…

"Ehm…." with a fist laying on my thigh and the other hand pressed on my forehead, i started rubbing a temple with my tiny fingers. I was so confused!, "Excuse me, i think my brain is melting down."

It was true. It was incredibile how whenever i left my house, something strange happened to me!

Mysterious shadows chasing me, creepy women bumping into me, a crowd of crazy priests calling me filthy…I was totally fed up. Little did i know about myself, but it was time to face the truth.

This time i would've returned home with some proper answers!

The head priest let out a loud and cheerful laugh, "I'm sorry, maybe i should bring you some te-"

"No!" i raised my voice. He froze, "I mean…i'm fine, thank you."

"Oh.." he kneeled down again, "…i see!" he gave me a caring smile.

I lowered my eyes and started staring at the whiteness of my thighs. What was happening to me?

I was so energetic 'till a while ago, and now…

Fear was trapping me again. I felt like i was on the verge of crying!I already could feel the tears climbing up my eyes and watering them, preventing me from seeing anything clear.

 _Haru, big girls don't cry!_ I said to myself as i was trying to hold them back, squeezing my eyelids.

Yet, i was trying too hard.

I was starting to feel the weight of everything that happened to me, in the past days.

I thought i could've easily handled it, but i was wrong. The pressure was crushing and tearing me apart!

How foolish of me!

I felt like i was spinning on a mad carousel. No escape.

Weakness, confusion, powerlessness…they were my greatest enemies. Impurities were nothing!

I was probably the biggest hindrance of myself.

As i thought that, tears broke from my eyes.

Heavy drops of salty water began to fall down from the watery mirrors on my face, wetting my thighs with warmth. I clenched my fists until my nails didn't pierce the flesh, and bit my lip 'till it turned red.

I was so frustrated! Why was i acting so weak in front of someone else?! I hated it!

My mask came undone, again. Vulnerability has made its way inside my life, recently.

Yet, i couldn't help but being angry with myself!

I was known to be tough and proud, even into the most impossibile situations! So why…

Why i was feeling so hopeless, now?

The room was filled with my heavy sobbing, as i was pressing my hand against my mouth to not let them out, but my body was shaking, and i could hear my heart beating out of my chest.

I was overwhelmed with emotions.

They were out of control!

"Wh-what's wrong, Haru-san?! I should really bring you some tea, after all!", he was ready to leave his place again, but i quickly stopped him.

"It's okay!" i was loud, my voice was broken with feelings, "It's okay…" i repeated with more delicacy.

We let the silence restore the peace inside the holy building, as i was catching new air into my lungs.

"Before starting a conversation, i should introduce myself first. My name is Juichirou Jumikoshi, i'm the head priest of this shrine."

With my eyes still pointed to the floor i asked, "Why do you know my name?"

There was a small pause between us. Rushing a speech was unnecessary.

"You are the Amawaka's daughter, right?" i immediately lifted my forehead as i heard my family's name, " You used to come here often since you were just a little girl. No way i couldn't recognize you!" he smiled at me.

I was stunned. So it was true!

The right place in the wrong moment.

Without even thinking, i threw my back forward and leaned over, "So…So, you are the one who erased my memories!" anxiety already took control of my body. I was unconsciously moving.

My impulsivity didn't shocked him at all. He was cool and frozen in his place.

His head slightly bowed, as a faint shadow covered his gaze, "Yes, i'm the one who cast the mesmerizing spell on you, and also purified you from the impurities which were hunting you."

It was him, after all! He wasn't just a normal priest, then.

I was staring at his shape, with the irises trembling in my widened eyes and my parted lips.

I didn't know what to say, though, there was a lot to ask.

But my mind was like a blank sheet. Confusion totally ate up all my thoughts!

I fixed my posture, and returned poised where i used to sit.

I could feel blood slowly dripping from the palm of my hands. Damn!

"How much do you know about me?" i asked. I was afraid of his answer.

He grinned at me, with his eyes closed, then lifted his forehead and came to face me, "Everything."

After hearing that word, the blood in my veings stopped running.

I was standing in front of the truth. It was my chance!

But then why i was so frightened? I was literally shaking inside.

It felt like an icy blade cutted my breath short, too. My tongue? Paralyzed, just like a tasted poison.

I was hesitating , snapping my eyes from a corner of the room to one other.

 _C'mon Haru, talk!_ No matter how hard i was trying to push myself, words wouldn't have come.

And then, i realized it.

Of course i was scared…

Bringing the truth to light meant that i couldn't have escaped it, anymore.

Once i would've come to know it, fighting would've become a must, and i knew i wasn't strong enough.

I wasn't strong enough for the truth, i wasn't strong enought to face the consequences.

I was weak!

Then i remembered my mother's words.

I had light inside of me. I could've hold onto it whenever i wanted to!

It was the only thing i could rely on…

But was it enough?

I sighed, "I'm tired."

Slience arose again.

"I'm tired of being a coward, this is not like me at all!" the tone of my voice was rising at every spelled word. I was so pissed off!

Doubting myself wouldn't have helped at all.

I needed answers, i would've got them, no matter what!

"Please, S.g head priest, tell me everything you know about me!" i streatched down my back, resting my forearms on the cold wooden floor, carefully bowing without spilling the blood on the holy territory.

Fear could've rest in peace.

The reason i've come there was to know the truth. It was too late to turn back!

My body was still shaking with emotion, but i ignored it.

Deep inside of me, i was praying my courage to come alive, but it wasn't answering me.

"Raise your head, young girl." He spoke with a heavy voice, "I'll tell you what you have come here, for."

I nodded in respose, still hiding my stained hands.

He creared his voice while coughing, and looked at me with a firm gaze.

"Tell me, where do you want to start?"

Time was running out. The night was coming and i had to hurry.

"First of all, why your disciples suddenly attacked me? I thought you were peaceful people!" i asked while pointing out out of the small windows.

There wasn't much light there.

He tried to hold back a laughter, but his voice was too deep to not being heard…

"I apologize for them, but the rules are clear: Impure things or people are not allowed to step into the holy land."

Impure people? Was i impure?!

Undoubtedly, i was being chased by impurities, but they were never close to me. I never entered in contact with one, before!

"Of course…" he continued, "for 'impure' i mean also people who are chased by impurities, even from a long range."

He was clearly referring to me. So i was a living impurity, now?

"I understand, but if i couldn't enter the shrine, why did you let me in?"

If was that impure then, let me stepping into the holy land of a shrine should be forbidden.

I didn't know much about how those stuff worked but i was pretty sure about that!

"Seems like you absorbed a big quantity of impurity, you needed help. Don't worry about the pollution, we'll clean everything once you'll come back home." He finished the sentence with a big welcoming smile on his face.

Wasn't he a bit too carefree?

Well, at least i was thankful he stopped that fuss…but i was still worried.

Concern was easily readable on my expression. I was like a little bird in a cage.

Before i could notice, the man in front of the pulled out a white piece of paper and pointed it at me.

"This will help you for a short time."

He started reciting a strange mantra, as he was keeping his gaze lowered and two fingers in front of his mouth.

A sign appeared on the paper. It was an enchanted talisman.

After the spell was casted, a dim lightened aura came to me and caressing my skin, it was soaked up into my body. Suddenly i was feeling a bit better!

A part of the burden on my shoulders disappeared, and i felt cleaner too!

I wanted to thank him, but he didn't let me speak.

"This was just a partial purification enchantement. It won't last long." He said with a pinch of coldness.

I threw my eyes to my knees, again.

I wasn't allow to feel glad for anything! Anyway, i gathered the pieces of my spirit.

"S.g head priest, i have something important to ask you."

I stretched my back upwards, just like a thread was connecting my head to the ceiling, tightening my fists and squezing my thighs with nervousness. Every limb of my body was run by pure electricity.

I couldn't move as i wanted to. I was stressed.

"Yes, of course, though, i might already know your question." He said while crossing his arms, pressing them against his mighty chest.

He was like a sacred book without any seal. Peaking inside was unnecessary since i could've opened it and read it as much as i wanted. A book filled with words, with answers.

The answers i've been carving for!

Screw this knot in my throat, and screw this fear! I'll go for it.

"Why…" i whispered with a trembling voice, "Why, are these impurities targetting me?!" finally i asked, raising my head with a sudden outburst.

His serious and darkened eyes were directly staring into the watery but blazing mirror of mine, piercing my frail soul.

The light inside the room was growing weak. It was already dark outside.

Everything around me looked so gloomy and threatening.

Not much different from the nightmares i was already used to.

The mood was heavy.

"That's because…" he began to speak, "…You aren't a common human."

In the end, i wasn't so shocked.

Finally the tension in my muscles loosened up a little, my body was relaxing.

Suddenly, the truth felt so familiar.

 _Ahh, i see…_

I figured that much. I always knew i was different from the others, somehow.

I just didn't want to admit it, because it sounded scary. But it was too late to runaway. wasn't it?

The shape of my eyes softened, as a vague feeling of resignation was spreading through my face.

What was that peace now? Warmth was wrapping my heart.

So that's what everybody meant, saying i was 'speacial'.

I guess it was rather visible. But what?

"Excuse me, what do you mean?" i asked further.

My ears were carefully listening to every single word he was spelling, ready to welcome and understand them.

He sighed, "It can't be helped. I guess nobody ever told you. Well, i'll be as clear as possible!"

I swallowed the knot in my throat, and focused all my attention on the priest.

My heart started beating like a drum, as i could feel adrenaline reaching every spot of my flesh.

I was so impatient and anxious!

What was i?

It was time to open the door and, find it out!

What could've been waiting for me behind it? A dazzling light, or true darkness?

Either way, i was there, now. I've already pushed the handle!

His lips were slowly parting, as he was breathing new air to voicing his words.

My eyes were watching everything. Every, single, detail.

When i last expected, he said it.

"You are the holder of the holy white flames of purity, the starfire."

He opened his eyes, and lifted his body, standing up. From the peak of his height he looked down on me.

"Haru Amawaka, you're a child of the heavenly star."

* * *

A/N:

 **Hoden** : (本殿 _main hall_ ), also called _shinden_ (神殿) or sometimes _shōden_ (昇殿), as in Ise Shrine's case, is the most sacred building at a Shinto shrine, intended purely for the use of the enshrined _kami_ , usually symbolized by a mirror or sometimes by a statue

Dan-daan-daaan! Oh my goodness, this story is slower than what i though, tehee!

Let me explain something.

I worked really hard to write this chapter, because i didn't feel well in the past days and i was about to throw away everything in the toilet, sad but true story.

I know, this chapter is not well-written as the previous one but i had to force myself to write it, otherwise i wouldn't have written anything forever. Forgive me, guys!

BUT! I'm really happy to know that people enjoyed the last chapter, since i received a lot positive feedback from the people that i know ^^ !

I hope you'll continue to read this fiction and, i don't know…maybe…leave a review? Ehehe.

That's all for today then, for updates stay tuned!


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